Friday, August 05, 2011

Some computer science PJs

Courtesy : Ramprasad, Deepanjan

One day Deepanjan (a PhD student at IITK) and I were waiting for a bus
and we started coming up with CS PJs. Needless to say, they were
complete kundis! Thought I'll share the madness with you guys as well.

P and NP walk into a bar and order the same cider each. The bartender
prepares one of them and place it on the table. P looks at NP and
asks, "Is this yours or mine?" and NP replies "Mine, I guess".

People are sitting in a bar, and Balanced-Paranthesis walks in and
shouts "Yabbadabbadooo". The bartender asks someone, "What's with that
guy?". "Oh him... he's context free".

A prof is taking attendance and shouts, "Palindromes...... (no
response) ... Palindromes ....(again nothing).... Can someone tell me
why palindromes isn't here?" and some student replies "He is not
regular sir".

A prof asks a student "what is 6x6" and gets the answer "32" from him.
And the prof still gives him some marks because he was only off by a

(this srikanth and I were talking about someday) Someone asks me whom
I work under and I reply, "RP is in MA of course!" ( hint : Ramprasad works with Manindra Agrawal )

(okay, a really horrible that I came up with while composing this
mail) P is walking in an alley and some suspicious guys are following
him. He starts running and those guys pursue. P gets very tense and
suddenly discovers his new power and starts tossing coins at them. The
robbers just run for those coins and P escapes. Someone who saw this
asks him what happeend and how he got these powers. And P replies,
"I'm P. But when I am tense, I become BPP"
 If a guy named Franklin Joe shows that graph isomorphism is in P, what
would he be called? GI-Joe!

A chemistry student was studying the acidity of some compound and he
found it to be very alkaline. Meanwhile, some other CS grad student
managed to show that NP \subseteq P/poly. Suddenly the chemistyr
student foudn that his compound was very acidic. Why?
Because pH collapsed

An immortal SMS by Rahul Muthu:
Hey, what did Manindra and co prove in 2002? I got an oxford
dictionary which is a 1960 edition, and even there 'Primes' is in P!

Another one by Rahul Muthu:
A bunch of mathematicians were going for a cycle race in a forest. All
of them made it more or less on time but one of them finished the race
VERY late. When asked why, he explained that he walked the course. He
was a graph theorist, and thought cycles weren't allowed in forests.
P is late for class but has to head back for lunch. He rushes into the
lab and shouts "hey, can someone lend me their cycle?". Hamilton
offers his keys and P replies "No no, you keep yours. I can't find
your goddamn cycle. I'll take Euler's"

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