it's me again. this incident actually happen before the one that i described in my last post.
------------------
Me, saket and gupta sitting in kaksha lab working on our MTech projects. Me and saket got kind of tired of coding so we started chatting a bit.. while gupta is still burried deep into coding.
Saket : kya re, kitni ladkiyan teri frenz thi college me?
Me : thi.. thodi bahut
Saket : jaise ke?
Me : meri singing partner thi ek ..
Saket : sahi hai...( with giving me a meaningful look ) .. fir age kuchh hua ke nahi?
Me : !! age kya hona tha.. bas.. achchhi friend thi .. aur kya?
Saket : aise hi pyar ho jata hai... vo pandit ( one guy from ee dept ) pata hai na aaj kal ek ladki ke saath ghumta hai?
Me : achchha .. kaun woh moti ladki?
Saket : ha.. vohi.. shadi karne vale hai dono
Me : kya baat hai?
Saket : ha... bas aise hi ... pandit achchha gata hai.. to iit ke musical programs me, practice me hi unki mulakat hui .. aur fir dosti pyar me badal gai
Me : sahi hai.
Saket : aur sale soch. tune kya kiya... ek bechari ladki ne samne se tere ko propose kiya.. aur tune use thukra diya.. ( refering to the loveletter that i got in my BE second year )
Me : abe kya re... vo umar me pyar-vyar kuchh nahi hota.. sirf attraction hota hai
Saket : abhi kuchh bhi mat bol ha... tab use thukra diya.. aur aaj mara mara ghum raha hai.. soch zara soch.. agar tune vo ladki ko ha bola hota.. to aaj tu aish kar raha hota .. uske sath tu ghumta.. romatic bate karta.. tuje pata hai tune ek galati karke kya khoya hai?
Gupta ( speaking out of the blue ) : woh moti ladki !!!!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
original jokes : But mom... she is hot!
well,
here i am back again after a long time. i just wanted to write down the original jokes that i encountered in my conversation with my friends. i must say that i will miss my life at IIT .. i mean.. where i am going to find such a humour ? anyways.. here goes the real incident
--------------------------------
Me, saket, keyur and vaibhav gupta were out for a dinner at swarna restaurant. Just discussing about lifes and all. A topic came out whether i will be doing a love marriage or an arranged marriage.
Saket : ha, sidha ja ke bolega..ma ye tumhari bahu hai
Me : are nahi yaar, direct aisa nahi... agar muje pasand aayi koi ladki to main bolunga ki mom muje ye ladki pasand hai.. aap ki kya rai hai?
Gupta : aur agar mom ko pasand nahi aayi to?
Me : to fir shadi nahi karne ka.. simple
Gupta : sale, tu khudgarz insaan hai.. zara soch us ladki pe kya bitegi.
Me : tu muje ye bata ki tu meri jagah hota to tu kya karta
Gupta : matlab?
Me : suppose tuje koi ladki pasand aa gayi
Gupta : is she hot? ( the same way joey does in friends )
Me in my mind : #$%&@
Me : ye hamesha galat detail me jata hai
Me : achha to bata ki tuje koi pasand aa gayi
Gupta : but is she hot???
Me : ya ( sigh )
Gupta : ha.. ab bata
Me : to tuje koi ladki pasand aa gayi aur teri mom ne mana kar diya to kya bolega
Saket : But mom.. she is hot!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We were having ice cream at "naturals". I asked everybody...
Me : kisi ko aur koi ice cream chahiye kya?
Gupta : main chickoo ice cream lunga
Saket : main mango
Me : (offering my hand for handshake to him ) main saurabh (!!!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Discussing about why IISc is a better place than IIT.
Gupta : IISc me achchhi research hoti hai kyu ki vaha pe jungle hai (!! :-O )
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am really gonna miss the original humours like this.. there are many many more.. which we have enjoyed and forgotten but almost each such joke/comment/PJ is a marvelous piece in itself.
here i am back again after a long time. i just wanted to write down the original jokes that i encountered in my conversation with my friends. i must say that i will miss my life at IIT .. i mean.. where i am going to find such a humour ? anyways.. here goes the real incident
--------------------------------
Me, saket, keyur and vaibhav gupta were out for a dinner at swarna restaurant. Just discussing about lifes and all. A topic came out whether i will be doing a love marriage or an arranged marriage.
Saket : ha, sidha ja ke bolega..ma ye tumhari bahu hai
Me : are nahi yaar, direct aisa nahi... agar muje pasand aayi koi ladki to main bolunga ki mom muje ye ladki pasand hai.. aap ki kya rai hai?
Gupta : aur agar mom ko pasand nahi aayi to?
Me : to fir shadi nahi karne ka.. simple
Gupta : sale, tu khudgarz insaan hai.. zara soch us ladki pe kya bitegi.
Me : tu muje ye bata ki tu meri jagah hota to tu kya karta
Gupta : matlab?
Me : suppose tuje koi ladki pasand aa gayi
Gupta : is she hot? ( the same way joey does in friends )
Me in my mind : #$%&@
Me : ye hamesha galat detail me jata hai
Me : achha to bata ki tuje koi pasand aa gayi
Gupta : but is she hot???
Me : ya ( sigh )
Gupta : ha.. ab bata
Me : to tuje koi ladki pasand aa gayi aur teri mom ne mana kar diya to kya bolega
Saket : But mom.. she is hot!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We were having ice cream at "naturals". I asked everybody...
Me : kisi ko aur koi ice cream chahiye kya?
Gupta : main chickoo ice cream lunga
Saket : main mango
Me : (offering my hand for handshake to him ) main saurabh (!!!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Discussing about why IISc is a better place than IIT.
Gupta : IISc me achchhi research hoti hai kyu ki vaha pe jungle hai (!! :-O )
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am really gonna miss the original humours like this.. there are many many more.. which we have enjoyed and forgotten but almost each such joke/comment/PJ is a marvelous piece in itself.
Monday, October 31, 2005
A trek to peb fort
Well,
It's been quite long since I posted something original. Though it is too late to post about the trek I had around 15 days ago, the experience was so amazing that it's hard to resist the temptation to post it.
We started our journey from hostel around 5:30 in the morning. We thought we would be late as we were given strict instruction to be on time. The scheduled time for departure was 5:00 but we were met by surprise when we gathered at pre-decided meeting point - convocatoin hall. The bus was not yet arrived so we started quite late then we thought earlier.
We were given idli, chatni and menduwada in the bus itself in a hope to get us head start for trekking. Shobhan and ravikant were treating us as if we are guest and they are our host. Of course, shobhan and ravikant being experienced trekkers of sahyadris were our guide for the day.
Journey to our starting point was quite interesting and fun-filled because of dumb-charades. I must say that our opponents were quite skillfull in this game. As our stomachs were full we dint quite feel like starting our trek when the bus finally halted at starting point. But at last we started. I was just hoping this trek not to be as difficult as chanderi trek which was excruciating at least for me.
As always, I wanted to be one of the person to reach the top first, I kept following shobhan as his shadow but got tired a bit after some walking so took rest for a while. I again started my trekking back and kept on following the crowd. After reaching the base of the hill I did not know that I was lost. In fact, I was blindly following a BTech first year guy ( who was pretending to be a good trekker by the way ) so we both lost our way when he discovered that we are not on the right trek. Now, I started leading my team ( consisting of only two members : me and that btech guy :-) ). We shouted to get a reponse from other trekkers to get an idea of the direction. A reply to our shouts lit a hope in our hearts that we are not much diverged from our original route. I thought may be the path ( in fact there was no path on which we were going ) will converge after a while. I kept on boosting my partner while we continued our journey which got converted in 80 degree vertical climbs. Thanks to my big brother keyur whose tips for rock climbing helped me a lot in keeping my mind cool and finding good grips and utilising them in a proper way. Unfortunately, my partner turned out to be a sissy and was on the verge of giving up all the efforts that we were making to go ahead.
Well, it's not all his fault. We were already climbing on the rocks in such a manner that we had little hope in our heart to go down the same path safely. As we were moving ahead rocks were vanishing and all we had most of the time was grass and clay. It all made our way quite slippery and in fact quite risky. No wonder, the btech guy was intimidated by our situation.
Finally, we reached a point where we could see other trekkers.
At first, it made me a little relaxed but when we talked ( in fact it was mere shouting and yelling from both sides ) we found out there is no way we can move towards them ( to the left ) any more. We can not climb down either as we already crossed the point of no return. All our hopes were fading away. I closed my eyes for a while and as always i prayed to god. ( I must thank god for saving my ass for "n" number of times when i am deeply burried into trouble. ) I found out from other trekkers looking at the scene that if we could reach the top we were climbing we would be able to reach the saddle point from where they were all looking and worrying about us. I prayed to god "Oh god, it's all upto you. Give the strength to make my way to the top". I starting crouching like a cat with my nail and finger on that slippery grassy and gripless land to reach some wild bushes few feet above. I must say that this crouching of a few feets was the most dangerous part for me in the entire trek. One slip or one mistake could have been fatal. Fortunately, with the bless of god and courage in my heart I made my way to the top. 
. My fingers were torn but still my heart was full of joy as I made my way through the hell.
I joined the others at the saddle point where they were still amazed how I made my way from such a difficult position and also wondering why the btech guy could not make it. That poor btech guy was all out of courage and was shouting and craving for help. "Call the police, call fire brigade, throw a rope down here".. yeah like police and fire brigade personnels are trained for all this.I told ravikant to start rescue mission from the top itself. I told him that bushes are strong enough to bear a person's weight so we can use bushes like a rope. We tried to go down the way from where I came up but ravikant did not had enough confidence in my idea so finally we dropped that idea. By that time shobhan and hrishi
also joined us. They started their rescue mission from the bottom. ( it was not
the same path that we followed down from the base, we got divereged quite early
in the route ). Finally, that btech guy was rescued. Everybody had a sigh of relief.
Anyways, the rest of the journey was not as exciting as this part. We started our journey to the top of peb fort hill. I rested at the top for a while.
On the way down also, we lost our way but fortunately I was little afraid as there were bunch of people with me this time. I was appreciating strength of Prof Sarat who not only himself but also made his kids to climb the hill. There was no doubt whether Prof Sarat would make it to the top or not because he is a marathon runner but I was worried that his kids might give up in between but he carried his kids along with him when they were tired. Also, I appreciate strength of Prof Sanyal to make it to the top at his age. I saluted (in my mind ) hrishi, shobhan and ravikant for their enormous stamina who were as fresh as they were at the beginning.
No wonder this trek would have its place in my memory forever.
It's been quite long since I posted something original. Though it is too late to post about the trek I had around 15 days ago, the experience was so amazing that it's hard to resist the temptation to post it.
We started our journey from hostel around 5:30 in the morning. We thought we would be late as we were given strict instruction to be on time. The scheduled time for departure was 5:00 but we were met by surprise when we gathered at pre-decided meeting point - convocatoin hall. The bus was not yet arrived so we started quite late then we thought earlier.
We were given idli, chatni and menduwada in the bus itself in a hope to get us head start for trekking. Shobhan and ravikant were treating us as if we are guest and they are our host. Of course, shobhan and ravikant being experienced trekkers of sahyadris were our guide for the day.
Journey to our starting point was quite interesting and fun-filled because of dumb-charades. I must say that our opponents were quite skillfull in this game. As our stomachs were full we dint quite feel like starting our trek when the bus finally halted at starting point. But at last we started. I was just hoping this trek not to be as difficult as chanderi trek which was excruciating at least for me.
As always, I wanted to be one of the person to reach the top first, I kept following shobhan as his shadow but got tired a bit after some walking so took rest for a while. I again started my trekking back and kept on following the crowd. After reaching the base of the hill I did not know that I was lost. In fact, I was blindly following a BTech first year guy ( who was pretending to be a good trekker by the way ) so we both lost our way when he discovered that we are not on the right trek. Now, I started leading my team ( consisting of only two members : me and that btech guy :-) ). We shouted to get a reponse from other trekkers to get an idea of the direction. A reply to our shouts lit a hope in our hearts that we are not much diverged from our original route. I thought may be the path ( in fact there was no path on which we were going ) will converge after a while. I kept on boosting my partner while we continued our journey which got converted in 80 degree vertical climbs. Thanks to my big brother keyur whose tips for rock climbing helped me a lot in keeping my mind cool and finding good grips and utilising them in a proper way. Unfortunately, my partner turned out to be a sissy and was on the verge of giving up all the efforts that we were making to go ahead.
Well, it's not all his fault. We were already climbing on the rocks in such a manner that we had little hope in our heart to go down the same path safely. As we were moving ahead rocks were vanishing and all we had most of the time was grass and clay. It all made our way quite slippery and in fact quite risky. No wonder, the btech guy was intimidated by our situation.
Finally, we reached a point where we could see other trekkers.
At first, it made me a little relaxed but when we talked ( in fact it was mere shouting and yelling from both sides ) we found out there is no way we can move towards them ( to the left ) any more. We can not climb down either as we already crossed the point of no return. All our hopes were fading away. I closed my eyes for a while and as always i prayed to god. ( I must thank god for saving my ass for "n" number of times when i am deeply burried into trouble. ) I found out from other trekkers looking at the scene that if we could reach the top we were climbing we would be able to reach the saddle point from where they were all looking and worrying about us. I prayed to god "Oh god, it's all upto you. Give the strength to make my way to the top". I starting crouching like a cat with my nail and finger on that slippery grassy and gripless land to reach some wild bushes few feet above. I must say that this crouching of a few feets was the most dangerous part for me in the entire trek. One slip or one mistake could have been fatal. Fortunately, with the bless of god and courage in my heart I made my way to the top. . My fingers were torn but still my heart was full of joy as I made my way through the hell.I joined the others at the saddle point where they were still amazed how I made my way from such a difficult position and also wondering why the btech guy could not make it. That poor btech guy was all out of courage and was shouting and craving for help. "Call the police, call fire brigade, throw a rope down here".. yeah like police and fire brigade personnels are trained for all this.I told ravikant to start rescue mission from the top itself. I told him that bushes are strong enough to bear a person's weight so we can use bushes like a rope. We tried to go down the way from where I came up but ravikant did not had enough confidence in my idea so finally we dropped that idea. By that time shobhan and hrishi
also joined us. They started their rescue mission from the bottom. ( it was not
the same path that we followed down from the base, we got divereged quite early
in the route ). Finally, that btech guy was rescued. Everybody had a sigh of relief.
Anyways, the rest of the journey was not as exciting as this part. We started our journey to the top of peb fort hill. I rested at the top for a while.
On the way down also, we lost our way but fortunately I was little afraid as there were bunch of people with me this time. I was appreciating strength of Prof Sarat who not only himself but also made his kids to climb the hill. There was no doubt whether Prof Sarat would make it to the top or not because he is a marathon runner but I was worried that his kids might give up in between but he carried his kids along with him when they were tired. Also, I appreciate strength of Prof Sanyal to make it to the top at his age. I saluted (in my mind ) hrishi, shobhan and ravikant for their enormous stamina who were as fresh as they were at the beginning.
No wonder this trek would have its place in my memory forever.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets.
Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer,
I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store,
Only this and nothing more.
Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing,
Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more.
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
"Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before.
Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises.
The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more.
Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more,
From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key.
But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before.
Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore,
Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard.
I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore.
Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations,
Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before.
Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before.
Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted.
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night.
A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core.
The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore.
Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go.
What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored,
Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes?
But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more,
You will one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore,
Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Ek kavita
jab yun hi kabhi baithey baithey
kuch yaad achanak aa jaye
her baat pe dil bezaar sa ho
her cheez jab yun hi kabhi baithey baithey
kuch yaad achanak aa jaye
her baat pe dil bezaar sa ho
her cheez se dil ghabra jaye
karna bhi mujhe kuch aur hi ho
kuch aur hi mujh se ho jaye
kuch aur hi sochun mein dil mein
kuch aur hi honton pe Aa jaye
aisey hi kisi ik lamhey mein
chupkey se kabhi khamoshi mein
kuch phool achanak khil jain
kuch beetey lamhey yaad Aain
us waqt teri yaad Aati hai
jab chandni dil ke Aangan mein
kuch kehney mujh se Aa jaye
aik khwabeda se chhutey koi
ehsaas peh merey chaa jaye
jab zulf pareshan chehrey par
kuch aur pareshan ho jaye
kuch dard bhi dil mein honey lagey
aur saans bhi bhojal ho jaye
aise hi kisi ik lamhey mein
chupkey se kabhi khamoshi mein
kuch phool achanak khil jain
jab shaam dhaley chaltey chaltey
manzil ka na koi naam miley
hansta hua ik Aaghaz miley
rootha hua ik anjam miley
palkon ke laraztey ashkon se
is dil ko koi peghaam miley
aur sari wafaon ke badley
mujh ko hi koi ilzaam miley
aise hi kisi ik lamhey mein
chupkey se kabhi khamoshi mein
kuch phool achanak khil jain
kuch beetey lamhey yaad Aain
us waqt teri yaad Aati hai
shidat se teri yaad Aati hai
kuch yaad achanak aa jaye
her baat pe dil bezaar sa ho
her cheez jab yun hi kabhi baithey baithey
kuch yaad achanak aa jaye
her baat pe dil bezaar sa ho
her cheez se dil ghabra jaye
karna bhi mujhe kuch aur hi ho
kuch aur hi mujh se ho jaye
kuch aur hi sochun mein dil mein
kuch aur hi honton pe Aa jaye
aisey hi kisi ik lamhey mein
chupkey se kabhi khamoshi mein
kuch phool achanak khil jain
kuch beetey lamhey yaad Aain
us waqt teri yaad Aati hai
jab chandni dil ke Aangan mein
kuch kehney mujh se Aa jaye
aik khwabeda se chhutey koi
ehsaas peh merey chaa jaye
jab zulf pareshan chehrey par
kuch aur pareshan ho jaye
kuch dard bhi dil mein honey lagey
aur saans bhi bhojal ho jaye
aise hi kisi ik lamhey mein
chupkey se kabhi khamoshi mein
kuch phool achanak khil jain
jab shaam dhaley chaltey chaltey
manzil ka na koi naam miley
hansta hua ik Aaghaz miley
rootha hua ik anjam miley
palkon ke laraztey ashkon se
is dil ko koi peghaam miley
aur sari wafaon ke badley
mujh ko hi koi ilzaam miley
aise hi kisi ik lamhey mein
chupkey se kabhi khamoshi mein
kuch phool achanak khil jain
kuch beetey lamhey yaad Aain
us waqt teri yaad Aati hai
shidat se teri yaad Aati hai
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Guitar : Dhadkan zara ruk gai hai (Movie : prahaar)
Well,
This is the first time I am posting the chords of this song. And this is the chords I could extract from the song. It may not be accurate but I am happy that at least I am trying.
(C) Dhadkan (G) zara ruk (F)gai hai
Kahi zinda(G)gi bah (C) rahi hai
there are few other songs that i tried but right now guitar is not with me so i am not able to recall right now.
This is the first time I am posting the chords of this song. And this is the chords I could extract from the song. It may not be accurate but I am happy that at least I am trying.
(C) Dhadkan (G) zara ruk (F)gai hai
Kahi zinda(G)gi bah (C) rahi hai
there are few other songs that i tried but right now guitar is not with me so i am not able to recall right now.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Shayari ka daur
A thread of shayari is again restarted on cse.mtech2
--------------------------------------------------------
chahat mithti nahi, yun samay ke bahav se,,
yadoon me uska basera kyonki, aaj bhi hai,,
Rasm-e-duniya ko to hum tab bhi nibhaya karte the,,
magar tadap usse milne ki dil me, aaj bhi hai,,
ankhoon me bhale na jhalakti ho aaj chahat uske lie,,
par dil pe pade chahat ke nishaan, aaj bhi hai,,
khil uthti hai muskaan ab bhi, jab naam uska aata hai,,
Sachche dil se ki chahat ka rang, aaj bhi hai,,
mana wo chale gae hai hume choodkar akela,,
par ankhoon me uski khatir do ansu, aaj bhi hai,,
Ye dil sambhal jae, gar koi saath nibhaye mera,
Baharo me khili hui kitni kaliyan, aaj bhi hai...
------------------------------------------------------
Armanoo ki barat to kai baar sajai hai dil me,,
Kisi ko lage wo janaza, to baat aur hai,,
Dil lagake dard kaun paana chahta hai, ae dost,,
Par Dil milae bina gar chahat mile, to baat aur hai..
--------------------------------------------------------
Tarasti nazaron ki pyas ho tum,
tadapte dil ki aas ho tum,
bujti zindagi ki saans ho tum,
phir kaise na kahen...
kuch khaas ho tum....
---------------------------------------------------------
."Koi gham nahi phir bhi mann udas hai,
koi rishta nahi phir bhi ek aas hai,
kehne ko bahut hai apne par tu hi ek khaas hai....
.
.
.
.
Zyaada EMOTIONAL mat ho ye sab BAKWAAS hai!!"
---------------------------------------------------------
Unki Muskaan hamari kamjori hai,
Unhe kuch keh na pana, hamari majburi hai,
Wo kyon nahi samajhte hamari khamoshi ko,
Kya khamoshi ko Zuban dena Jaruri hai..
--------------------------------------------------------
Phoolon se bhi kya Dosti karni,
kuch pal baad mar jaate hai.
Dosti Karo to kaantose,
chubhne ke baaad bhi yaad aate hai
-------------------------------------------------------
Is tarah tanha baithe hain naakam se
Ek dosti si ho gayee hai Gum ki shaam se
Guzre hain aaj ishq me kuch aise mukaam se
Ke Nafrat si ho gayee hai Mohabbat ke naam se!
---------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------
chahat mithti nahi, yun samay ke bahav se,,
yadoon me uska basera kyonki, aaj bhi hai,,
Rasm-e-duniya ko to hum tab bhi nibhaya karte the,,
magar tadap usse milne ki dil me, aaj bhi hai,,
ankhoon me bhale na jhalakti ho aaj chahat uske lie,,
par dil pe pade chahat ke nishaan, aaj bhi hai,,
khil uthti hai muskaan ab bhi, jab naam uska aata hai,,
Sachche dil se ki chahat ka rang, aaj bhi hai,,
mana wo chale gae hai hume choodkar akela,,
par ankhoon me uski khatir do ansu, aaj bhi hai,,
Ye dil sambhal jae, gar koi saath nibhaye mera,
Baharo me khili hui kitni kaliyan, aaj bhi hai...
------------------------------------------------------
Armanoo ki barat to kai baar sajai hai dil me,,
Kisi ko lage wo janaza, to baat aur hai,,
Dil lagake dard kaun paana chahta hai, ae dost,,
Par Dil milae bina gar chahat mile, to baat aur hai..
--------------------------------------------------------
Tarasti nazaron ki pyas ho tum,
tadapte dil ki aas ho tum,
bujti zindagi ki saans ho tum,
phir kaise na kahen...
kuch khaas ho tum....
---------------------------------------------------------
."Koi gham nahi phir bhi mann udas hai,
koi rishta nahi phir bhi ek aas hai,
kehne ko bahut hai apne par tu hi ek khaas hai....
.
.
.
.
Zyaada EMOTIONAL mat ho ye sab BAKWAAS hai!!"
---------------------------------------------------------
Unki Muskaan hamari kamjori hai,
Unhe kuch keh na pana, hamari majburi hai,
Wo kyon nahi samajhte hamari khamoshi ko,
Kya khamoshi ko Zuban dena Jaruri hai..
--------------------------------------------------------
Phoolon se bhi kya Dosti karni,
kuch pal baad mar jaate hai.
Dosti Karo to kaantose,
chubhne ke baaad bhi yaad aate hai
-------------------------------------------------------
Is tarah tanha baithe hain naakam se
Ek dosti si ho gayee hai Gum ki shaam se
Guzre hain aaj ishq me kuch aise mukaam se
Ke Nafrat si ho gayee hai Mohabbat ke naam se!
---------------------------------------------------------
Friday, September 09, 2005
... magar pahele kabhi
A nice shayari by DK on cse.mtech2
-----------------------------------------------
hum tujhe chahte the magar pehle kabhi
tujh ko apne kehte the, magar pehle kabhi
rasm-e-duniya nibhane ko mil rahi hain ab
tujhe dil se mila kerte the, magar pehle kabhi
is dil main teri chahat ka nishaan hi nahi
in ankhoon main tere khawab the, magar pehle kabhi
ab tujhe yaad ker ke dil machalta b nahi
tere naam se armaan machalte the, magar pehle kabhi
wo chala gaya chor ker hum roe bhi nahi
us ke janey per hum rote the, magar pehle kabhi
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------
hum tujhe chahte the magar pehle kabhi
tujh ko apne kehte the, magar pehle kabhi
rasm-e-duniya nibhane ko mil rahi hain ab
tujhe dil se mila kerte the, magar pehle kabhi
is dil main teri chahat ka nishaan hi nahi
in ankhoon main tere khawab the, magar pehle kabhi
ab tujhe yaad ker ke dil machalta b nahi
tere naam se armaan machalte the, magar pehle kabhi
wo chala gaya chor ker hum roe bhi nahi
us ke janey per hum rote the, magar pehle kabhi
-----------------------------------------------
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Sher on cse.mtech2
all this sher mentioned below is from cse.mtech2 "spam" thread. a really nice way to spam i guess :-)
---------------------------------------------
usko chaha bhi to izhaar na karna aya
kut gayi umer hamain pyar na karna aya
usne maangi bhi to judai maangi
or hum the ke inqaar na karna aya
- Tushar
--------------------------------------------
mat karo koi wada jise nibhaba na sako,
mat chhaho usse jise pa na sako
pyar kisika kaha pura hota hai
pyar ka pahila akshar hi adhura hota hai....!
--jeetu
----------------------------------------------
Ae dil unki yaad mein rona fizul hai, ansu anmol hai, inko khona fizul hai,
Rote uske liye hain jo tum pe nisar ho, uske liye kya rona jiske ashiq hazaar hon
--jeetu
---------------------------------------------
Humne socha tha ki shayad, hum hi chahte hai tumko, par tumhe chahne wala to kafila nikla,
Dil ne kaha shikayat kar khuda se, paar khuda bhi tera chahne wala nikla.
--tusshar
-----------------------------------------------
Trying to forget someone u love is like trying to remember someone u never
met..
- Tushar
-------------------------------------------------
Samet lo sitaro ko hatho me apne,bahut door tak raat hi raat hogi
Musafir hai hum bhi,musafir hai aap bhi,kahi na kahi phir mulakat hogi
-Tusshar
---------------------------------------------
usko chaha bhi to izhaar na karna aya
kut gayi umer hamain pyar na karna aya
usne maangi bhi to judai maangi
or hum the ke inqaar na karna aya
- Tushar
--------------------------------------------
mat karo koi wada jise nibhaba na sako,
mat chhaho usse jise pa na sako
pyar kisika kaha pura hota hai
pyar ka pahila akshar hi adhura hota hai....!
--jeetu
----------------------------------------------
Ae dil unki yaad mein rona fizul hai, ansu anmol hai, inko khona fizul hai,
Rote uske liye hain jo tum pe nisar ho, uske liye kya rona jiske ashiq hazaar hon
--jeetu
---------------------------------------------
Humne socha tha ki shayad, hum hi chahte hai tumko, par tumhe chahne wala to kafila nikla,
Dil ne kaha shikayat kar khuda se, paar khuda bhi tera chahne wala nikla.
--tusshar
-----------------------------------------------
Trying to forget someone u love is like trying to remember someone u never
met..
- Tushar
-------------------------------------------------
Samet lo sitaro ko hatho me apne,bahut door tak raat hi raat hogi
Musafir hai hum bhi,musafir hai aap bhi,kahi na kahi phir mulakat hogi
-Tusshar
Going through the hell
ya, i feel like being in a hell. Even though IIT is my dream institute and i am proud to be one of the student studying over here.. right now, I feel being in a hell.
Mtech first stage project : how should one supposed to approach this? well, the usual things that are supposed happen is, you start your project in your summer vacation. your guide will tell you to go through some research papers and other materials which would help you build up the base. After going through all that stuff you define your problem and may be some views regaring how to tackle the problem etc etc. You write a compilation of all the stuff that you read and your approach towards problem solving.
... wake up dear, it sounds like a dream when you are doing your MTP under Prof Supratik. The very first meeting for the MTP starts with the instruction to read somebody's code which i am supposed to extend. It was definitely was not much motivating to be directly deplyoed on the code. Feel like a rookie in a company where you start with all programming bulshits. I know, that's not a good example to give, because the work that i am supposed to do hear requires lot of thinking and skill and it would really stimulate your brain.
Anyways, things went on, some part of the code was very nicely written and somethings were so ugly. One must keep in mind that somebody else may need to read it someday. I never felt importance of comments in the code to such an extent earlier. After I finished reading the code when I went to meet my guide... ...oops.. i have been going through the wrong version of the code. I was supposed to go through another code which was tackling the problem differently. Of course, the earlier code helped me a lot in understanding this new version but hellooooo.... don't people understand to mention some pointers in the code ?? what algorithms are used ? references? ya, suddenly all this wisdom came to me when i was in the trap. But i must confess that many of the things that should be taken care of while writing such a large programs, i dont take that much care.
Some papers from here and there, I suggeted some heuristic where he demanded for optimal solutions. Though, he was right from his point of view i was thinking that he is demanding too much from me. Everybody is not a PGM ( presidents gold medalist ) like him. He is a genius and a very hard working fellow, so focussed on his field that he did not had time to marry !!!
He suggested some new approach which i am supposed to implement in just ten days. yes, my dear, doing MTP under Prof supratik is not everyone's cup of tea. Though it is really a credit to have him as a guide, i would have opted for a coffee if i knew the tea would be soooo hot.
Here i am, writind down my frustrations/ feelings out here in the blogs are the burning so many nights on the implementation and dont know when the hell i am going to start my report and when am i going to submit it. He believes 5 days should be sufficient to write a report but it would definitely require more than 5 days to do the modification he would suggest.
Anyways, may god give me the strength to withstand this strain right now .... the only thing i am desporately waiting for is 18th july 2005, yes, that's the day when i would (probably ) be submitting my report as i cant refuse the chances of an extension.
hey buddy... stop reading this post now .. i have to go for a sleep :D
Mtech first stage project : how should one supposed to approach this? well, the usual things that are supposed happen is, you start your project in your summer vacation. your guide will tell you to go through some research papers and other materials which would help you build up the base. After going through all that stuff you define your problem and may be some views regaring how to tackle the problem etc etc. You write a compilation of all the stuff that you read and your approach towards problem solving.
... wake up dear, it sounds like a dream when you are doing your MTP under Prof Supratik. The very first meeting for the MTP starts with the instruction to read somebody's code which i am supposed to extend. It was definitely was not much motivating to be directly deplyoed on the code. Feel like a rookie in a company where you start with all programming bulshits. I know, that's not a good example to give, because the work that i am supposed to do hear requires lot of thinking and skill and it would really stimulate your brain.
Anyways, things went on, some part of the code was very nicely written and somethings were so ugly. One must keep in mind that somebody else may need to read it someday. I never felt importance of comments in the code to such an extent earlier. After I finished reading the code when I went to meet my guide... ...oops.. i have been going through the wrong version of the code. I was supposed to go through another code which was tackling the problem differently. Of course, the earlier code helped me a lot in understanding this new version but hellooooo.... don't people understand to mention some pointers in the code ?? what algorithms are used ? references? ya, suddenly all this wisdom came to me when i was in the trap. But i must confess that many of the things that should be taken care of while writing such a large programs, i dont take that much care.
Some papers from here and there, I suggeted some heuristic where he demanded for optimal solutions. Though, he was right from his point of view i was thinking that he is demanding too much from me. Everybody is not a PGM ( presidents gold medalist ) like him. He is a genius and a very hard working fellow, so focussed on his field that he did not had time to marry !!!
He suggested some new approach which i am supposed to implement in just ten days. yes, my dear, doing MTP under Prof supratik is not everyone's cup of tea. Though it is really a credit to have him as a guide, i would have opted for a coffee if i knew the tea would be soooo hot.
Here i am, writind down my frustrations/ feelings out here in the blogs are the burning so many nights on the implementation and dont know when the hell i am going to start my report and when am i going to submit it. He believes 5 days should be sufficient to write a report but it would definitely require more than 5 days to do the modification he would suggest.
Anyways, may god give me the strength to withstand this strain right now .... the only thing i am desporately waiting for is 18th july 2005, yes, that's the day when i would (probably ) be submitting my report as i cant refuse the chances of an extension.
hey buddy... stop reading this post now .. i have to go for a sleep :D
Monday, July 04, 2005
Nice sher
This is one is from my shayar classmate nawab. though i am not sure whether this is his creation or not :p.
-------------------------------
Mujhko tu apnaa bana ya na bana teri Khushi
tu zamaane mein mere naam se badnaam to hai
Dekh kar log mujhe naam tera lete hain
is pe main Khush hoon muhabbat ka kuch anjaam to hai
-------------------------------
-------------------------------
Mujhko tu apnaa bana ya na bana teri Khushi
tu zamaane mein mere naam se badnaam to hai
Dekh kar log mujhe naam tera lete hain
is pe main Khush hoon muhabbat ka kuch anjaam to hai
-------------------------------
Monday, June 20, 2005
Think of children in India
I got this nice message from shahnawaz today on my y!.
--------------------------------------------------------
Speech by Thomas Friedman of The New York Times.... "When we were young kids growing up in America, we were told to eat our vegetables at dinner and not to leave them. Mothers said, 'think of the starving children in India and finish the dinner.' And now I tell my children: 'Finish your maths homework. Think of the children in India who would make you starve, if you don't.'"
--------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------
Speech by Thomas Friedman of The New York Times.... "When we were young kids growing up in America, we were told to eat our vegetables at dinner and not to leave them. Mothers said, 'think of the starving children in India and finish the dinner.' And now I tell my children: 'Finish your maths homework. Think of the children in India who would make you starve, if you don't.'"
--------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
20 Questions
I got this link from yogesh. Really makes one wonder what kind of stretagy might have been used inside. fuzzy logic ? refinement of possibilities using answers? whatever, it is, really an intelligent work to build up such an intelligent system.
http://y.20q.net/anon?f-hecW-Dakau_v_e_gjlWXDaNJbN_3d01Q93FyVVp
http://y.20q.net/anon?f-hecW-Dakau_v_e_gjlWXDaNJbN_3d01Q93FyVVp
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Cutting and Joining video clips through mencoder ( mplayer)
to cut, use
mencoder uncut.avi -ss 0:20 -endpos 10 -ovc copy -oac copy -o cut.avi
-ss is for starting position and -endpos is for ending position. Use man pages for more detail.
For joining, I have got this script from somewhere, I never tried it myself though :-)
#!/bin/bash
#
# $Id: join-avi-files,v 1.3 2004/09/26 16:10:36 thor Exp $
# Tom Moertel
#
# Usage: join-avi-files outfile.avi in1.avi in2.avi ...
#
# This program joins the given movie files in1.avi, in2.avi, ...
# and saves the result as outfile.avi. Although the name is
# join-avi-files, this program will join any kind of movies,
# provided that mplayer knows about them and that the movies
# all use the same codecs, resolution, stream rate, etc.
# COPYRIGHT AND LICENSE
#
# Copyright (C) 2004 Thomas G. Moertel.
# All rights reserved worldwide.
#
# This code is licensed under the GNU General Public License, version
# 2 or greater. It is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
# but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
# MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU
# General Public License for more details.
# CODE
# preflight inputs
if [ $# -lt 2 ]; then
echo Usage: $(basename $0) outfile.avi in1.avi in2.avi ... 1>&2
exit 1;
fi
# shift the output file from the command line
outfile="$1"
shift
# as a safety precaution, make sure the output file doesn't already exist
[ -f "$outfile" ] && {
echo "$outfile already exists; aborted." 1>&2;
exit 2;
}
# create a temporary directory in which to do our work
tmpdir=$(mktemp -d join-avi-files-XXXXXXXXXX)
[ -d "$tmpdir" ] || { echo "can't make tmp dir" 1>&2; exit 3; }
mkdir "$tmpdir/in" || { echo "can't make in dir" 1>&2; exit 3; }
mkdir "$tmpdir/out" || { echo "can't make out dir" 1>&2; exit 3; }
# make sure the temporary directory is cleaned up
cleanup() { rm -rf "$tmpdir"; }
trap cleanup 1 2 3 5 13 15
# massage each input file into valid form
counter=100000
for infile in "$@"; do
echo
echo === SCANNING INPUT: $infile ===
echo
base=$(basename "$infile")
mencoder -idx "$infile" -ovc copy -oac copy -o "$tmpdir/in/$counter-$base"
counter=$(( $counter + 1 ))
done
# merge the massaged input files
echo
echo === WRITING OUTPUT: $outfile ===
echo
outbase=$(basename "$outfile")
cat "$tmpdir/in/"* > "$tmpdir/$outbase"
mencoder -noidx -ovc copy -oac copy -o "$outfile" "$tmpdir/$outbase"
# clean up and exit with success
cleanup
echo
echo Done!
exit 0
mencoder uncut.avi -ss 0:20 -endpos 10 -ovc copy -oac copy -o cut.avi
-ss is for starting position and -endpos is for ending position. Use man pages for more detail.
For joining, I have got this script from somewhere, I never tried it myself though :-)
#!/bin/bash
#
# $Id: join-avi-files,v 1.3 2004/09/26 16:10:36 thor Exp $
# Tom Moertel
#
# Usage: join-avi-files outfile.avi in1.avi in2.avi ...
#
# This program joins the given movie files in1.avi, in2.avi, ...
# and saves the result as outfile.avi. Although the name is
# join-avi-files, this program will join any kind of movies,
# provided that mplayer knows about them and that the movies
# all use the same codecs, resolution, stream rate, etc.
# COPYRIGHT AND LICENSE
#
# Copyright (C) 2004 Thomas G. Moertel.
# All rights reserved worldwide.
#
# This code is licensed under the GNU General Public License, version
# 2 or greater. It is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
# but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
# MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU
# General Public License for more details.
# CODE
# preflight inputs
if [ $# -lt 2 ]; then
echo Usage: $(basename $0) outfile.avi in1.avi in2.avi ... 1>&2
exit 1;
fi
# shift the output file from the command line
outfile="$1"
shift
# as a safety precaution, make sure the output file doesn't already exist
[ -f "$outfile" ] && {
echo "$outfile already exists; aborted." 1>&2;
exit 2;
}
# create a temporary directory in which to do our work
tmpdir=$(mktemp -d join-avi-files-XXXXXXXXXX)
[ -d "$tmpdir" ] || { echo "can't make tmp dir" 1>&2; exit 3; }
mkdir "$tmpdir/in" || { echo "can't make in dir" 1>&2; exit 3; }
mkdir "$tmpdir/out" || { echo "can't make out dir" 1>&2; exit 3; }
# make sure the temporary directory is cleaned up
cleanup() { rm -rf "$tmpdir"; }
trap cleanup 1 2 3 5 13 15
# massage each input file into valid form
counter=100000
for infile in "$@"; do
echo
echo === SCANNING INPUT: $infile ===
echo
base=$(basename "$infile")
mencoder -idx "$infile" -ovc copy -oac copy -o "$tmpdir/in/$counter-$base"
counter=$(( $counter + 1 ))
done
# merge the massaged input files
echo
echo === WRITING OUTPUT: $outfile ===
echo
outbase=$(basename "$outfile")
cat "$tmpdir/in/"* > "$tmpdir/$outbase"
mencoder -noidx -ovc copy -oac copy -o "$outfile" "$tmpdir/$outbase"
# clean up and exit with success
cleanup
echo
echo Done!
exit 0
Quotes Collection
Here is the quotes that i liked and collected. none of them are mine :-) but i just liked them.
* " Everything is OK at the end, if it's not OK, it's not the END. "
* " An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor. "
* " A mind stretched by a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions. "
* " Stability is not achieved by immobility: try to sit on an immobile bicycle! "
* " Luck favours those who don't believe in it. "
* " An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. "
* " Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives. "
* " Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.. "
* " Death is hereditary. "
* " God is real, unless declared integer. "
* " Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left. "
* " In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?? "
* " I would like to change the world, but they won't give me the source code! "
* " #define question (bb || !bb ) -- by Shakesphere "
* " On the other hand... you have different fingers! "
* " When you come to a fork in the road, take the 'right' path, else you must take the path that is 'left'. "
* " If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos..then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. "
* " A person who truely loves u and knows u, is someone who sees the pain in ur eyes while EVERYONE else still believes in the smile on ur face "
* " Windows not found: (C)heer, (P)arty, (D)ance? "
* " How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands.. "
* " I do know everything, just not all at once. It's a virtual memory problem. "
* " For every problem there can be multiple solutions, and the simplest one is usually neglected....! "
* " Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. "
* " A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. "
* " A common rule of thumb, Too clever is dumb! "
* " If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. "
* " Windows NT encountered the following error: The operation completed successfully. "
* " The best Windows accelerator is that which works at 9.81m/s2 "
* " Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves. "
* " Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ] "
* " Double your disk space - delete Windows! "
* " Linux, DOS, Windows NT -- The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. "
* " Efficiency is intelligent laziness. "
* " The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first. "
* " 47.5% of all statistics are made up on the spot. "
* " To Guess Something Is Easy, To Guess Something Wrong Is Expensive. "
* " The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it. "
* " If our brain would be simple enough for us to understand it, we would be too dumb to understand it. "
* " Speak less to people whom you love most....B'coz if they cant understand your silence....They can never understand your words. "
* " I refuse to believe in a risk-free society where the thrill of living is traded for the safety of existence. "
* " I might change my mind.. If someone offers me his instead. "
* " Remedy for hard times : Salt Water : be it sweat, tears or sea. "
* " manzilein unhi ko milti hai jinke sapno me jaan hoti hai, pankho se kuchh nahi hota, honslo se udan hoti hai. "
* " The worst part of life is to wait. The best part is to have someone worth waiting for. "
* " Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Learn as if you were to live forever. "
* " The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere is that it has never tried to contact us. "
* " When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half. "
* " It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid and don't say it. "
* " Always put worry in its proper place, i.e. OUT OF YOUR LIFE. "
* " It is not as difficult to apologize as it is to live with a guilty conscience. "
* " Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have. "
* " Mind is consciousness which has put on limitations. You are originally unlimited and perfect. Later you take on limitations and become the mind. "
* " Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. "
* " I Never forget a face, but in your case i'll be glad to make an exception. "
* " Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have any film. "
* " There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works. "
* " A true friend never gets in your way, unless you happened to go down. "
* " Its better to lose your pride for someone you love, than to lose that someone you love for your useless pride "
* " Map out your future... but do it with pencil. "
* " Always upgrade your processor to the fastest avaliable so that you can reboot windows faster. "
* " Excellence is not a destination; it is a continuous journey that never ends. "
* " If you aim for nothing, that's exactly what you'll hit: nothing. "
* " I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I'm perfect. "
* " Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. "
* " Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright Until you hear them speak. "
* " It is better to burn out than to fade away. "
* " I was an atheist until I knew I was GOD. "
* " I am not sincere, even when I say I am not. "
* " Impossible = I m possible "
* " Believe that you can't be beaten and you won't "
* " A moments insight is sometimes worth a life's experience "
* " In matters of style, swim with the current,In matters of principle, stand like a Rock "
* " It doesn't take a lot of strength to hang on,but it does take a lot to let go "
* " Life is not measured by the breathe you take,But by the moments that takes your breathe away "
* " You don't love a woman because she is beautiful,But she is beautiful because you love her "
* " Before : dream about IIT in sleep,After : dream about sleep in IIT "
* " Ever wondered why it is called 'common' sense when few seems to have it? "
* " If debugging is an art to remove bugs from the program, then programming must be an art to insert them. "
* " Diamond is just a piece of coal, with a bit more endurance. "
* " I have got no companion.....it is always alone at the top. "
* " I have the simplest choice, I am always satisfied with the best. "
* " If you try, you risk failure; if you don't you ensure it. "
* " I was born genius, but education ruined me. "
* " Err and err and err again but less and less and less. "
* " Marriage is not a word, it's a sentence.... a life sentence. "
* " There is never a wrong time to do a right thing. "
* " Like a spring beginnings of all things are small. "
* " My brain has two parts : left has nothing right in it, right has nothing left in it. "
* " Horrible ( complex ) answers are most probably the wrong answers. "
* " A thousand lions led by a donkey can be defeated by a thousand donkeys led by a lion. "
* " Everything is OK at the end, if it's not OK, it's not the END. "
* " An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor. "
* " A mind stretched by a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions. "
* " Stability is not achieved by immobility: try to sit on an immobile bicycle! "
* " Luck favours those who don't believe in it. "
* " An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. "
* " Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives. "
* " Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.. "
* " Death is hereditary. "
* " God is real, unless declared integer. "
* " Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left. "
* " In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?? "
* " I would like to change the world, but they won't give me the source code! "
* " #define question (bb || !bb ) -- by Shakesphere "
* " On the other hand... you have different fingers! "
* " When you come to a fork in the road, take the 'right' path, else you must take the path that is 'left'. "
* " If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos..then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. "
* " A person who truely loves u and knows u, is someone who sees the pain in ur eyes while EVERYONE else still believes in the smile on ur face "
* " Windows not found: (C)heer, (P)arty, (D)ance? "
* " How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands.. "
* " I do know everything, just not all at once. It's a virtual memory problem. "
* " For every problem there can be multiple solutions, and the simplest one is usually neglected....! "
* " Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. "
* " A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. "
* " A common rule of thumb, Too clever is dumb! "
* " If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. "
* " Windows NT encountered the following error: The operation completed successfully. "
* " The best Windows accelerator is that which works at 9.81m/s2 "
* " Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves. "
* " Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ] "
* " Double your disk space - delete Windows! "
* " Linux, DOS, Windows NT -- The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. "
* " Efficiency is intelligent laziness. "
* " The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first. "
* " 47.5% of all statistics are made up on the spot. "
* " To Guess Something Is Easy, To Guess Something Wrong Is Expensive. "
* " The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it. "
* " If our brain would be simple enough for us to understand it, we would be too dumb to understand it. "
* " Speak less to people whom you love most....B'coz if they cant understand your silence....They can never understand your words. "
* " I refuse to believe in a risk-free society where the thrill of living is traded for the safety of existence. "
* " I might change my mind.. If someone offers me his instead. "
* " Remedy for hard times : Salt Water : be it sweat, tears or sea. "
* " manzilein unhi ko milti hai jinke sapno me jaan hoti hai, pankho se kuchh nahi hota, honslo se udan hoti hai. "
* " The worst part of life is to wait. The best part is to have someone worth waiting for. "
* " Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Learn as if you were to live forever. "
* " The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere is that it has never tried to contact us. "
* " When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half. "
* " It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid and don't say it. "
* " Always put worry in its proper place, i.e. OUT OF YOUR LIFE. "
* " It is not as difficult to apologize as it is to live with a guilty conscience. "
* " Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have. "
* " Mind is consciousness which has put on limitations. You are originally unlimited and perfect. Later you take on limitations and become the mind. "
* " Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. "
* " I Never forget a face, but in your case i'll be glad to make an exception. "
* " Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have any film. "
* " There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works. "
* " A true friend never gets in your way, unless you happened to go down. "
* " Its better to lose your pride for someone you love, than to lose that someone you love for your useless pride "
* " Map out your future... but do it with pencil. "
* " Always upgrade your processor to the fastest avaliable so that you can reboot windows faster. "
* " Excellence is not a destination; it is a continuous journey that never ends. "
* " If you aim for nothing, that's exactly what you'll hit: nothing. "
* " I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I'm perfect. "
* " Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. "
* " Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright Until you hear them speak. "
* " It is better to burn out than to fade away. "
* " I was an atheist until I knew I was GOD. "
* " I am not sincere, even when I say I am not. "
* " Impossible = I m possible "
* " Believe that you can't be beaten and you won't "
* " A moments insight is sometimes worth a life's experience "
* " In matters of style, swim with the current,In matters of principle, stand like a Rock "
* " It doesn't take a lot of strength to hang on,but it does take a lot to let go "
* " Life is not measured by the breathe you take,But by the moments that takes your breathe away "
* " You don't love a woman because she is beautiful,But she is beautiful because you love her "
* " Before : dream about IIT in sleep,After : dream about sleep in IIT "
* " Ever wondered why it is called 'common' sense when few seems to have it? "
* " If debugging is an art to remove bugs from the program, then programming must be an art to insert them. "
* " Diamond is just a piece of coal, with a bit more endurance. "
* " I have got no companion.....it is always alone at the top. "
* " I have the simplest choice, I am always satisfied with the best. "
* " If you try, you risk failure; if you don't you ensure it. "
* " I was born genius, but education ruined me. "
* " Err and err and err again but less and less and less. "
* " Marriage is not a word, it's a sentence.... a life sentence. "
* " There is never a wrong time to do a right thing. "
* " Like a spring beginnings of all things are small. "
* " My brain has two parts : left has nothing right in it, right has nothing left in it. "
* " Horrible ( complex ) answers are most probably the wrong answers. "
* " A thousand lions led by a donkey can be defeated by a thousand donkeys led by a lion. "
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Plane faresearch
found this link on cse.mtech2, it's handy to get an idea of airfares. i
may need it sometime :-)
List of NP-Complete Problems
I was just wondering whether the problem that i am stuck up with have any resemblence to any of the NP-Complete problems. The problem that i am encountered with is so close to some of them, however, the difference is, placing one cut in the circuit graph changes the weight of the edges. So unlike some of the NP-Complete problems, I am facing a dynamic problem.
Here goes the link where I found out list of NP complete problem. I dont know whether this is an exhaustive listing or not.
http://www.nada.kth.se/~viggo/problemlist/compendium.html
Here goes the link where I found out list of NP complete problem. I dont know whether this is an exhaustive listing or not.
http://www.nada.kth.se/~viggo/problemlist/compendium.html
Monday, June 06, 2005
Emergency calls through Nokia handset
Hi,
I was just going through the newsgroups today. As usual the iitb.general was the last to be read :-). There I found one important information.
For Nokia handsets, 112 is the emergency number. It works even if the keypad is locked or even if SIM is not inserted :-O. this was a very surprising thing to note. However, in the posting it was also mentioned that 100 does not work but when I tried....man, I hangup as soon as I heard it ringing.
People should verify the things before posting on to newgroups. Someone might actually try it!!
I was just going through the newsgroups today. As usual the iitb.general was the last to be read :-). There I found one important information.
For Nokia handsets, 112 is the emergency number. It works even if the keypad is locked or even if SIM is not inserted :-O. this was a very surprising thing to note. However, in the posting it was also mentioned that 100 does not work but when I tried....man, I hangup as soon as I heard it ringing.
People should verify the things before posting on to newgroups. Someone might actually try it!!
Exporting sound and display in linux
Hi,
well, i knew long ago how to export a display from a remote terminal. this helps to get display for graphical applications that one may want to run on remote machines.
At the end where you are sitting (server) the thing that you have to do is
$ xhost +
which will disable access control and any client can connect to the running X server.
at the client side ( where you have remotely logged in )
$ export DISPLAY="servername:terminal"
terminal numbers start from 0.0.
If you are not sure of which terminal you are using just run the following command on the server
$ echo $DISPLAY
which will give you the terminal number that you should be using at the client side.
Alternatively, a very simple method for doing all this in just one shot is that while logging in to a remote machine
# ssh -X remotemachine
this will do all the above mentioned thing for you.
for sound also the procedure is the same.
on server
# artsd -p portnumber -u
you can select any portnumber which is greater than 1024 and not already in use by some another application. -u will disable the access control. for more options
# artsd -h
this will provide you all the available options for arts deamon.
whereas on the client side
# export ARTS_SERVER="servername:portnumber"
you can also provide IP addresses instead of giving names in the environment variables.
If your mplayer still does not produce sound than you should check which audio output mathod it is using. one can specify a particular audio output mathod using
# mplayer -ao arts filename
Now, you can login to remote machines and enjoy the songs/movies etc. :-)
well, i knew long ago how to export a display from a remote terminal. this helps to get display for graphical applications that one may want to run on remote machines.
At the end where you are sitting (server) the thing that you have to do is
$ xhost +
which will disable access control and any client can connect to the running X server.
at the client side ( where you have remotely logged in )
$ export DISPLAY="servername:terminal"
terminal numbers start from 0.0.
If you are not sure of which terminal you are using just run the following command on the server
$ echo $DISPLAY
which will give you the terminal number that you should be using at the client side.
Alternatively, a very simple method for doing all this in just one shot is that while logging in to a remote machine
# ssh -X remotemachine
this will do all the above mentioned thing for you.
for sound also the procedure is the same.
on server
# artsd -p portnumber -u
you can select any portnumber which is greater than 1024 and not already in use by some another application. -u will disable the access control. for more options
# artsd -h
this will provide you all the available options for arts deamon.
whereas on the client side
# export ARTS_SERVER="servername:portnumber"
you can also provide IP addresses instead of giving names in the environment variables.
If your mplayer still does not produce sound than you should check which audio output mathod it is using. one can specify a particular audio output mathod using
# mplayer -ao arts filename
Now, you can login to remote machines and enjoy the songs/movies etc. :-)
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
I'm just too shy, n i dont know why
I got this nice poem as a forward mail. As far as I remember it was from umesh.
---------------------------------------------
10 th Grade
As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it. After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.
She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end,
it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her
love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss
on the cheek..
I want to tell her, I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Senior year
One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, "hes not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did. That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Graduation.
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and
gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Marriage.
Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Death.
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine;
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !
.........'I wish I did too...'
---------------------------------------------
10 th Grade
As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it. After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.
She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end,
it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her
love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss
on the cheek..
I want to tell her, I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Senior year
One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, "hes not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did. That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Graduation.
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and
gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Marriage.
Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Death.
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine;
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !
.........'I wish I did too...'
Sher-o-shayari
Well, this one i found on iitb.h. Of course it involved some heavy weight urdu words so i am just posting only those ones which i could understood...but the stuff is really nice.
---------------------------
'zaraa dariyaa ki teh tak tu pahunch jaane ki himmat kar...
to fir e doobne waale kinara hi kinara hai'
---------------------------
tu kahe to zahar bhi pee len...qatil....
shart yeh hai ki bahon mein sambhAle koi'
----------------------------
'rooh mein shAmil ho...ragon mein rawAn ho....
rooh mein shAmil ho....ragon mein rawAn ho....
jaane mere hathon ki lakiron mein kahAn ho....
------------------------------
betAb ashque beshak palkon tak chale aana
lekin ye teri hud hai is hud se na gir jaana
--------------------------------
'chiragon ko aankhon mein mehfooz rakhna.....
chiragon ko aankhon mein mehfooz rakhna.....
badi door tak raat hi raat hogi...
---------------------------------
musafir hein hum bhi..musafir ho tum bhi...
kisi moad par fir mulaqaat hogi'
---------------------------------
'haan mein tumhein bhool jaane ki koshish karoonga.....
haan mein tumhein bhool jaane ki koshish karoonga....
tumse bhi ho sake....to na aana khayaal mein'
-----------------------------------
Kaash dil ki awaz ka itna asar ho jaaye
Hum unhe yaad karen
Aur unhe khabar ho jaaye . <
---------------------------
'zaraa dariyaa ki teh tak tu pahunch jaane ki himmat kar...
to fir e doobne waale kinara hi kinara hai'
---------------------------
tu kahe to zahar bhi pee len...qatil....
shart yeh hai ki bahon mein sambhAle koi'
----------------------------
'rooh mein shAmil ho...ragon mein rawAn ho....
rooh mein shAmil ho....ragon mein rawAn ho....
jaane mere hathon ki lakiron mein kahAn ho....
------------------------------
betAb ashque beshak palkon tak chale aana
lekin ye teri hud hai is hud se na gir jaana
--------------------------------
'chiragon ko aankhon mein mehfooz rakhna.....
chiragon ko aankhon mein mehfooz rakhna.....
badi door tak raat hi raat hogi...
---------------------------------
musafir hein hum bhi..musafir ho tum bhi...
kisi moad par fir mulaqaat hogi'
---------------------------------
'haan mein tumhein bhool jaane ki koshish karoonga.....
haan mein tumhein bhool jaane ki koshish karoonga....
tumse bhi ho sake....to na aana khayaal mein'
-----------------------------------
Kaash dil ki awaz ka itna asar ho jaaye
Hum unhe yaad karen
Aur unhe khabar ho jaaye . <
Monday, May 30, 2005
Search in science
Gupta forwarded me a really good link. A search engine to locate scientific resources.
http://www.scirus.com
http://www.scirus.com
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Holmes in Hospital
That's achyut. We went today to meet him at the hospital. However, visiting him at the hospital did not change anything at all. We were as funny as we used to be. Fortunately, he did not have any serious enjuries but I really wonder whether I would be able to act serious even in that kind of situation. Another thing that I noticed was that I never got hospitalised, thank GOD!!
Anyways, how he earned his name as holmes? Well, that's a funny story. Once he posted a PJ on iitb.humour about some sher (lion) locking homes ( or holmes?!) in a village. I thought of initially describing the whole joke over here but I guess I am not that good at describing things. yeah, and that's why using this blog just like a scratch pad and keep on posting just anything :-).
Anyways, how he earned his name as holmes? Well, that's a funny story. Once he posted a PJ on iitb.humour about some sher (lion) locking homes ( or holmes?!) in a village. I thought of initially describing the whole joke over here but I guess I am not that good at describing things. yeah, and that's why using this blog just like a scratch pad and keep on posting just anything :-).
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Photo blogging
I was just trying out how to upload photos on my blog. I guess this is a successfull experiment :-)
Friday, May 27, 2005
BDD(Binary Decision Diagram) library in java
I was just just googling for BDD and found this one.
http://javaddlib.sourceforge.net/jbdd/api.html
it's really good to see that java has libraries for almost everything. however, i really doubt about a BDD manipulation library in java. I guess a java implemetation would be running at a dead slow
speed for all but for tiny BDDs. Definitely, a C or C++ implementation would make more sense for
such computational intensive applications. One such implementation is by colorado university
http://vlsi.colorado.edu/~fabio/CUDD/
http://javaddlib.sourceforge.net/jbdd/api.html
it's really good to see that java has libraries for almost everything. however, i really doubt about a BDD manipulation library in java. I guess a java implemetation would be running at a dead slow
speed for all but for tiny BDDs. Definitely, a C or C++ implementation would make more sense for
such computational intensive applications. One such implementation is by colorado university
http://vlsi.colorado.edu/~fabio/CUDD/
image gallery generator for linux
a good gallery generator can be found at
www.stanford.edu/~epop/igal/
another more sophisticated one is
http://jalbum.net/index.jsp
www.stanford.edu/~epop/igal/
another more sophisticated one is
http://jalbum.net/index.jsp
Google search through email
To search and receive Google search results thru email. Try the info
given below. Just send an email to google@capeclear.com and put the text
of your query in the "Subject" line.
You will receive the search results as email to your mail id.
Once you get the result for the searches... u can get the contents of a
URL using the below feature!! To receive the web content of a url, send
email to web@pagegetter.com and subject should contain the url whose
content has to be fetched.
given below. Just send an email to google@capeclear.com and put the text
of your query in the "Subject" line.
You will receive the search results as email to your mail id.
Once you get the result for the searches... u can get the contents of a
URL using the below feature!! To receive the web content of a url, send
email to web@pagegetter.com and subject should contain the url whose
content has to be fetched.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Free pop3/smtp Access to yahoo mail
Hey guys,,,
i came across one of the application that provides free pop3/smtp
access to yahoo mail...it also supports linux and mac os...You can
visit it at following link and download the application ..its free....
Click here
i came across one of the application that provides free pop3/smtp
access to yahoo mail...it also supports linux and mac os...You can
visit it at following link and download the application ..its free....
Click here
Monday, January 03, 2005
Why they get paid so much at help desk..
====
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
====
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button ?
Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
on my desk... sorry .
====
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left ?
====
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me ! I'm not Bill
Gates damn it !
====
Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it
says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in
front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
====
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer ?
Customer: No.
====
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am ?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
====
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's
happening.
====
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer ?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard ?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work !
====
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
====
A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?
Customer: Five stars.
====
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
====
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !
====
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you
please tell me how long it will take before you can help me ?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem ?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4
hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me ?
====
Helpdesk: How may I help you ?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around
it ?
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
====
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button ?
Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
on my desk... sorry .
====
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left ?
====
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me ! I'm not Bill
Gates damn it !
====
Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it
says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in
front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
====
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer ?
Customer: No.
====
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am ?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
====
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's
happening.
====
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer ?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard ?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work !
====
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
====
A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?
Customer: Five stars.
====
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
====
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !
====
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you
please tell me how long it will take before you can help me ?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem ?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4
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====
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Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around
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Making of a Programmer ..
Billy's Mom's Letters
The following appeared in a computer magazine in Mr. Dvorak's column:
Dear Mr. Dvorak:
Ann Landers wouldn't print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get
the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and
explain. It's about my son, Billy. He's always been a good, normal ten year
old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp
for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps
with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire -- you know. There
were sports camps and specialty camps for weight reduction, music, military
camps and camps that specialized in Tibetan knot tying. I tried to talk him
into Camp Winnepoopoo. It's where he went last year. (He made an adorable
picture out of painted pinto beans and macaroni). Billy would have none of
it. Billy pulled a brochure out of his pocket. It was for a COMPUTER CAMP!
We should have put our foot down right there, if only we had known. He left
three weeks ago. I don't know what's happened. He's changed. I can't explain
it. See for yourself. These are some of my little Billy's letters.
Dear Mom,
The kids are dorky nerds. The food stinks. The computers are the only good
part. We're learning how to program. Late at night is the best time to
program, so they let us stay up.
Love, Billy.
Dear Mom,
Camp is O.K. Last night we had pizza in the middle of the night. We all get
to choose what we want to drink. I drink Classic Coke. By the way, can you
make Szechuan food? I'm getting used to it now. Gotta go, it's time for the
flowchart class.
Love, Billy.
P.S. This is written on a wordprocessor. Pretty swell, huh? It's
spellchecked too.
Dear Mom,
Don't worry. We do regular camp stuff. We told ghost stories by the glow of
the green computer screens. It was real neat. I don't have much of a tan
'cause we don't go outside very often. You can't see the computer screen in
the sunlight anyway. That wimp camp I went to last year fed us weird food
too. Lay off, Mom. I'm okay, really.
Love, Billy.
Dear Mom,
I'm fine. I'm sleeping enough. I'm eating enough. This is the best camp
ever. We scared the counselor with some phony worm code. It was real funny.
He got mad and yelled. Frederick says it's okay. Can you send more money? I
spent mine on a pocket protector and a box of blank diskettes. I've got to
chip in on the phone bill. Did you know that you can talk to people on a
computer? Give my regards to Dad.
Love, Billy.
Dear Mother,
Forget the money for the telephone. We've got a way to not pay. Sorry I
haven't written. I've been learning a lot. I'm real good at getting onto any
computer in the country. It's really easy! I got into the university's in
less than fifteen minutes. Frederick did it in five, he's going to show me
how. Frederick is my bunk partner. He's really smart. He says that I
shouldn't call myself Billy anymore. So, I'm not.
Signed, William.
Dear Mother,
How nice of you to come up on Parents Day. Why'd you get so upset? I haven't
gained that much weight. The glasses aren't real. Everybody wears them. I
was trying to fit in. Believe me, the tape on them is cool. I thought that
you'd be proud of my program. After all, I've made some money on it. A
publisher is sending a check for $30,000. Anyway, I've paid for the next six
weeks of camp. I won't be home until late August.
Regards, William.
Mother,
Stop treating me like a child. True -- physically I am only ten years old.
It was silly of you to try to kidnap me. Do not try again. Remember, I can
make your life miserable (i.e. - the bank, credit bureau, and government
computers). I am not kidding. O.K.? I won't write again and this is your
only warning. The emotions of this interpersonal communication drain me.
Sincerely, William.
See what I mean? It's been two weeks since I've heard from my little boy.
What can I do, Mr.Dvorak? I know that it's probably too late to save my
little Billy. But, if by printing these letters you can save JUST ONE CHILD
from a life of programming, please, I beg of you to do so. Thank you very
much.
Sally Gates,
Concerned Parent
The following appeared in a computer magazine in Mr. Dvorak's column:
Dear Mr. Dvorak:
Ann Landers wouldn't print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get
the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and
explain. It's about my son, Billy. He's always been a good, normal ten year
old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp
for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps
with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire -- you know. There
were sports camps and specialty camps for weight reduction, music, military
camps and camps that specialized in Tibetan knot tying. I tried to talk him
into Camp Winnepoopoo. It's where he went last year. (He made an adorable
picture out of painted pinto beans and macaroni). Billy would have none of
it. Billy pulled a brochure out of his pocket. It was for a COMPUTER CAMP!
We should have put our foot down right there, if only we had known. He left
three weeks ago. I don't know what's happened. He's changed. I can't explain
it. See for yourself. These are some of my little Billy's letters.
Dear Mom,
The kids are dorky nerds. The food stinks. The computers are the only good
part. We're learning how to program. Late at night is the best time to
program, so they let us stay up.
Love, Billy.
Dear Mom,
Camp is O.K. Last night we had pizza in the middle of the night. We all get
to choose what we want to drink. I drink Classic Coke. By the way, can you
make Szechuan food? I'm getting used to it now. Gotta go, it's time for the
flowchart class.
Love, Billy.
P.S. This is written on a wordprocessor. Pretty swell, huh? It's
spellchecked too.
Dear Mom,
Don't worry. We do regular camp stuff. We told ghost stories by the glow of
the green computer screens. It was real neat. I don't have much of a tan
'cause we don't go outside very often. You can't see the computer screen in
the sunlight anyway. That wimp camp I went to last year fed us weird food
too. Lay off, Mom. I'm okay, really.
Love, Billy.
Dear Mom,
I'm fine. I'm sleeping enough. I'm eating enough. This is the best camp
ever. We scared the counselor with some phony worm code. It was real funny.
He got mad and yelled. Frederick says it's okay. Can you send more money? I
spent mine on a pocket protector and a box of blank diskettes. I've got to
chip in on the phone bill. Did you know that you can talk to people on a
computer? Give my regards to Dad.
Love, Billy.
Dear Mother,
Forget the money for the telephone. We've got a way to not pay. Sorry I
haven't written. I've been learning a lot. I'm real good at getting onto any
computer in the country. It's really easy! I got into the university's in
less than fifteen minutes. Frederick did it in five, he's going to show me
how. Frederick is my bunk partner. He's really smart. He says that I
shouldn't call myself Billy anymore. So, I'm not.
Signed, William.
Dear Mother,
How nice of you to come up on Parents Day. Why'd you get so upset? I haven't
gained that much weight. The glasses aren't real. Everybody wears them. I
was trying to fit in. Believe me, the tape on them is cool. I thought that
you'd be proud of my program. After all, I've made some money on it. A
publisher is sending a check for $30,000. Anyway, I've paid for the next six
weeks of camp. I won't be home until late August.
Regards, William.
Mother,
Stop treating me like a child. True -- physically I am only ten years old.
It was silly of you to try to kidnap me. Do not try again. Remember, I can
make your life miserable (i.e. - the bank, credit bureau, and government
computers). I am not kidding. O.K.? I won't write again and this is your
only warning. The emotions of this interpersonal communication drain me.
Sincerely, William.
See what I mean? It's been two weeks since I've heard from my little boy.
What can I do, Mr.Dvorak? I know that it's probably too late to save my
little Billy. But, if by printing these letters you can save JUST ONE CHILD
from a life of programming, please, I beg of you to do so. Thank you very
much.
Sally Gates,
Concerned Parent
Healthy place!!
Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto arrived in Florida.
In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver... "Say, is this really a
healthful place?"
"It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I
had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a
room, and I had to be lifted out of bed."
"Wow. That's wonderful!" said the tourist , "How long have you been here?"
"I was born here."
iitb.humour.. rocks :-)
Saturday, January 01, 2005
test mail
just checking whether it works or not from email
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Saurabh Joshi
MTech CSE
IIT Bombay
---------------------
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Saurabh Joshi
MTech CSE
IIT Bombay
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