Original Joke : ek penjon le lunga!

well, here i am back after a long time. i was a bit preoccupied ( or at least was pretending to be occupied ;-) ) in my report submission work. Anyways, here it goes


Scenario : A typical IIT night. At H2 canteen at around 12:30 in the night. Me, gupta, saket and sushil were chatting. Gupta was in his usual mood of "hypothetical situation".

Gupta : To Mr Saurabh Joshi, Aap ko IIT main kaun si ladki pasand hai?
Gupta : A ) Girl1 B) Girl2 C) Girl3 D) Girl4.

( I would prefer not to put the original options .. coz gupta was at his height of imagination while providing options )

Gupta : To bataiye... kis ke sath jana chahenge aap. A, B, C ya D?

( I knew I had to choose one of the options.. not choosing an option would have given them more excuse to tease me ;-) :D. So I was puzzled by this question and was wondering what to say! )

Gupta : Bahut confused dikh rahe hai? Life line use karna chahenge?

( I still did not answer .. to save myself from being teased anymore I knew I had to give answer very very cautiously )

Gupta : Audience poll lena chahenge aap? Oh... Aur results hai? A) 25% B) 25% C) 25% D) 25%
Badi hi kathin samasya me fans gaye hai aap. Audience poll aap ki kuchh khas madad nahi kar sakta. Aisi situation me aap kya karenge?

Sushil (out of the blue) : Aasan hai, ek penjon le lunga ( !!!! :-O :D :-)) )
(This was a punch line of an ad of a painkiller 'penjon')

original joke : woh moti ladki!!

it's me again. this incident actually happen before the one that i described in my last post.
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Me, saket and gupta sitting in kaksha lab working on our MTech projects. Me and saket got kind of tired of coding so we started chatting a bit.. while gupta is still burried deep into coding.

Saket : kya re, kitni ladkiyan teri frenz thi college me?
Me : thi.. thodi bahut
Saket : jaise ke?
Me : meri singing partner thi ek ..
Saket : sahi hai...( with giving me a meaningful look ) .. fir age kuchh hua ke nahi?
Me : !! age kya hona tha.. bas.. achchhi friend thi .. aur kya?
Saket : aise hi pyar ho jata hai... vo pandit ( one guy from ee dept ) pata hai na aaj kal ek ladki ke saath ghumta hai?
Me : achchha .. kaun woh moti ladki?
Saket : ha.. vohi.. shadi karne vale hai dono
Me : kya baat hai?
Saket : ha... bas aise hi ... pandit achchha gata hai.. to iit ke musical programs me, practice me hi unki mulakat hui .. aur fir dosti pyar me badal gai
Me : sahi hai.
Saket : aur sale soch. tune kya kiya... ek bechari ladki ne samne se tere ko propose kiya.. aur tune use thukra diya.. ( refering to the loveletter that i got in my BE second year )
Me : abe kya re... vo umar me pyar-vyar kuchh nahi hota.. sirf attraction hota hai
Saket : abhi kuchh bhi mat bol ha... tab use thukra diya.. aur aaj mara mara ghum raha hai.. soch zara soch.. agar tune vo ladki ko ha bola hota.. to aaj tu aish kar raha hota .. uske sath tu ghumta.. romatic bate karta.. tuje pata hai tune ek galati karke kya khoya hai?
Gupta ( speaking out of the blue ) : woh moti ladki !!!!

original jokes : But mom... she is hot!

well,
here i am back again after a long time. i just wanted to write down the original jokes that i encountered in my conversation with my friends. i must say that i will miss my life at IIT .. i mean.. where i am going to find such a humour ? anyways.. here goes the real incident
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Me, saket, keyur and vaibhav gupta were out for a dinner at swarna restaurant. Just discussing about lifes and all. A topic came out whether i will be doing a love marriage or an arranged marriage.
Saket : ha, sidha ja ke bolega..ma ye tumhari bahu hai
Me : are nahi yaar, direct aisa nahi... agar muje pasand aayi koi ladki to main bolunga ki mom muje ye ladki pasand hai.. aap ki kya rai hai?
Gupta : aur agar mom ko pasand nahi aayi to?
Me : to fir shadi nahi karne ka.. simple
Gupta : sale, tu khudgarz insaan hai.. zara soch us ladki pe kya bitegi.
Me : tu muje ye bata ki tu meri jagah hota to tu kya karta
Gupta : matlab?
Me : suppose tuje koi ladki pasand aa gayi
Gupta : is she hot? ( the same way joey does in friends )
Me in my mind : #$%&@
Me : ye hamesha galat detail me jata hai
Me : achha to bata ki tuje koi pasand aa gayi
Gupta : but is she hot???
Me : ya ( sigh )
Gupta : ha.. ab bata
Me : to tuje koi ladki pasand aa gayi aur teri mom ne mana kar diya to kya bolega
Saket : But mom.. she is hot!!!
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We were having ice cream at "naturals". I asked everybody...
Me : kisi ko aur koi ice cream chahiye kya?
Gupta : main chickoo ice cream lunga
Saket : main mango
Me : (offering my hand for handshake to him ) main saurabh (!!!)
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Discussing about why IISc is a better place than IIT.
Gupta : IISc me achchhi research hoti hai kyu ki vaha pe jungle hai (!! :-O )
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I am really gonna miss the original humours like this.. there are many many more.. which we have enjoyed and forgotten but almost each such joke/comment/PJ is a marvelous piece in itself.

A trek to peb fort

Well,
It's been quite long since I posted something original. Though it is too late to post about the trek I had around 15 days ago, the experience was so amazing that it's hard to resist the temptation to post it.

We started our journey from hostel around 5:30 in the morning. We thought we would be late as we were given strict instruction to be on time. The scheduled time for departure was 5:00 but we were met by surprise when we gathered at pre-decided meeting point - convocatoin hall. The bus was not yet arrived so we started quite late then we thought earlier.

We were given idli, chatni and menduwada in the bus itself in a hope to get us head start for trekking. Shobhan and ravikant were treating us as if we are guest and they are our host. Of course, shobhan and ravikant being experienced trekkers of sahyadris were our guide for the day.

Journey to our starting point was quite interesting and fun-filled because of dumb-charades. I must say that our opponents were quite skillfull in this game. As our stomachs were full we dint quite feel like starting our trek when the bus finally halted at starting point. But at last we started. I was just hoping this trek not to be as difficult as chanderi trek which was excruciating at least for me.

As always, I wanted to be one of the person to reach the top first, I kept following shobhan as his shadow but got tired a bit after some walking so took rest for a while. I again started my trekking back and kept on following the crowd. After reaching the base of the hill I did not know that I was lost. In fact, I was blindly following a BTech first year guy ( who was pretending to be a good trekker by the way ) so we both lost our way when he discovered that we are not on the right trek. Now, I started leading my team ( consisting of only two members : me and that btech guy :-) ). We shouted to get a reponse from other trekkers to get an idea of the direction. A reply to our shouts lit a hope in our hearts that we are not much diverged from our original route. I thought may be the path ( in fact there was no path on which we were going ) will converge after a while. I kept on boosting my partner while we continued our journey which got converted in 80 degree vertical climbs. Thanks to my big brother keyur whose tips for rock climbing helped me a lot in keeping my mind cool and finding good grips and utilising them in a proper way. Unfortunately, my partner turned out to be a sissy and was on the verge of giving up all the efforts that we were making to go ahead.

Well, it's not all his fault. We were already climbing on the rocks in such a manner that we had little hope in our heart to go down the same path safely. As we were moving ahead rocks were vanishing and all we had most of the time was grass and clay. It all made our way quite slippery and in fact quite risky. No wonder, the btech guy was intimidated by our situation.

Finally, we reached a point where we could see other trekkers. At first, it made me a little relaxed but when we talked ( in fact it was mere shouting and yelling from both sides ) we found out there is no way we can move towards them ( to the left ) any more. We can not climb down either as we already crossed the point of no return. All our hopes were fading away. I closed my eyes for a while and as always i prayed to god. ( I must thank god for saving my ass for "n" number of times when i am deeply burried into trouble. ) I found out from other trekkers looking at the scene that if we could reach the top we were climbing we would be able to reach the saddle point from where they were all looking and worrying about us. I prayed to god "Oh god, it's all upto you. Give the strength to make my way to the top". I starting crouching like a cat with my nail and finger on that slippery grassy and gripless land to reach some wild bushes few feet above. I must say that this crouching of a few feets was the most dangerous part for me in the entire trek. One slip or one mistake could have been fatal. Fortunately, with the bless of god and courage in my heart I made my way to the top. . My fingers were torn but still my heart was full of joy as I made my way through the hell.

I joined the others at the saddle point where they were still amazed how I made my way from such a difficult position and also wondering why the btech guy could not make it. That poor btech guy was all out of courage and was shouting and craving for help. "Call the police, call fire brigade, throw a rope down here".. yeah like police and fire brigade personnels are trained for all this.I told ravikant to start rescue mission from the top itself. I told him that bushes are strong enough to bear a person's weight so we can use bushes like a rope. We tried to go down the way from where I came up but ravikant did not had enough confidence in my idea so finally we dropped that idea. By that time shobhan and hrishi
also joined us. They started their rescue mission from the bottom. ( it was not
the same path that we followed down from the base, we got divereged quite early
in the route ). Finally, that btech guy was rescued. Everybody had a sigh of relief.

Anyways, the rest of the journey was not as exciting as this part. We started our journey to the top of peb fort hill. I rested at the top for a while.

On the way down also, we lost our way but fortunately I was little afraid as there were bunch of people with me this time. I was appreciating strength of Prof Sarat who not only himself but also made his kids to climb the hill. There was no doubt whether Prof Sarat would make it to the top or not because he is a marathon runner but I was worried that his kids might give up in between but he carried his kids along with him when they were tired. Also, I appreciate strength of Prof Sanyal to make it to the top at his age. I saluted (in my mind ) hrishi, shobhan and ravikant for their enormous stamina who were as fresh as they were at the beginning.

No wonder this trek would have its place in my memory forever.

Abort, Retry, Ignore?

Abort, Retry, Ignore?

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets.
Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer,
I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store,
Only this and nothing more.

Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing,
Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more.
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
"Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before.
Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises.
The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more.
Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more,
From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key.
But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before.
Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore,
Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard.
I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore.
Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations,
Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before.
Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before.
Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted.
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night.
A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core.
The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore.
Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go.
What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored,
Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes?
But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more,
You will one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore,
Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

Ek kavita

jab yun hi kabhi baithey baithey

kuch yaad achanak aa jaye

her baat pe dil bezaar sa ho

her cheez jab yun hi kabhi baithey baithey

kuch yaad achanak aa jaye

her baat pe dil bezaar sa ho

her cheez se dil ghabra jaye

karna bhi mujhe kuch aur hi ho

kuch aur hi mujh se ho jaye

kuch aur hi sochun mein dil mein

kuch aur hi honton pe Aa jaye

aisey hi kisi ik lamhey mein

chupkey se kabhi khamoshi mein

kuch phool achanak khil jain

kuch beetey lamhey yaad Aain
us waqt teri yaad Aati hai

jab chandni dil ke Aangan mein

kuch kehney mujh se Aa jaye

aik khwabeda se chhutey koi

ehsaas peh merey chaa jaye

jab zulf pareshan chehrey par

kuch aur pareshan ho jaye

kuch dard bhi dil mein honey lagey

aur saans bhi bhojal ho jaye

aise hi kisi ik lamhey mein

chupkey se kabhi khamoshi mein
kuch phool achanak khil jain

jab shaam dhaley chaltey chaltey

manzil ka na koi naam miley

hansta hua ik Aaghaz miley

rootha hua ik anjam miley

palkon ke laraztey ashkon se

is dil ko koi peghaam miley

aur sari wafaon ke badley

mujh ko hi koi ilzaam miley

aise hi kisi ik lamhey mein

chupkey se kabhi khamoshi mein
kuch phool achanak khil jain

kuch beetey lamhey yaad Aain

us waqt teri yaad Aati hai

shidat se teri yaad Aati hai

Guitar : Dhadkan zara ruk gai hai (Movie : prahaar)

Well,
This is the first time I am posting the chords of this song. And this is the chords I could extract from the song. It may not be accurate but I am happy that at least I am trying.

(C) Dhadkan (G) zara ruk (F)gai hai
Kahi zinda(G)gi bah (C) rahi hai

there are few other songs that i tried but right now guitar is not with me so i am not able to recall right now.

Shayari ka daur

A thread of shayari is again restarted on cse.mtech2
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chahat mithti nahi, yun samay ke bahav se,,
yadoon me uska basera kyonki, aaj bhi hai,,


Rasm-e-duniya ko to hum tab bhi nibhaya karte the,,
magar tadap usse milne ki dil me, aaj bhi hai,,

ankhoon me bhale na jhalakti ho aaj chahat uske lie,,
par dil pe pade chahat ke nishaan, aaj bhi hai,,

khil uthti hai muskaan ab bhi, jab naam uska aata hai,,
Sachche dil se ki chahat ka rang, aaj bhi hai,,

mana wo chale gae hai hume choodkar akela,,
par ankhoon me uski khatir do ansu, aaj bhi hai,,

Ye dil sambhal jae, gar koi saath nibhaye mera,
Baharo me khili hui kitni kaliyan, aaj bhi hai...
------------------------------------------------------
Armanoo ki barat to kai baar sajai hai dil me,,
Kisi ko lage wo janaza, to baat aur hai,,

Dil lagake dard kaun paana chahta hai, ae dost,,
Par Dil milae bina gar chahat mile, to baat aur hai..
--------------------------------------------------------
Tarasti nazaron ki pyas ho tum,
tadapte dil ki aas ho tum,
bujti zindagi ki saans ho tum,
phir kaise na kahen...
kuch khaas ho tum....
---------------------------------------------------------
."Koi gham nahi phir bhi mann udas hai,
koi rishta nahi phir bhi ek aas hai,
kehne ko bahut hai apne par tu hi ek khaas hai....
.
.
.
.
Zyaada EMOTIONAL mat ho ye sab BAKWAAS hai!!"
---------------------------------------------------------
Unki Muskaan hamari kamjori hai,
Unhe kuch keh na pana, hamari majburi hai,
Wo kyon nahi samajhte hamari khamoshi ko,
Kya khamoshi ko Zuban dena Jaruri hai..
--------------------------------------------------------
Phoolon se bhi kya Dosti karni,
kuch pal baad mar jaate hai.
Dosti Karo to kaantose,
chubhne ke baaad bhi yaad aate hai

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Is tarah tanha baithe hain naakam se
Ek dosti si ho gayee hai Gum ki shaam se
Guzre hain aaj ishq me kuch aise mukaam se
Ke Nafrat si ho gayee hai Mohabbat ke naam se!
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... magar pahele kabhi

A nice shayari by DK on cse.mtech2
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hum tujhe chahte the magar pehle kabhi
tujh ko apne kehte the, magar pehle kabhi

rasm-e-duniya nibhane ko mil rahi hain ab
tujhe dil se mila kerte the, magar pehle kabhi

is dil main teri chahat ka nishaan hi nahi
in ankhoon main tere khawab the, magar pehle kabhi

ab tujhe yaad ker ke dil machalta b nahi
tere naam se armaan machalte the, magar pehle kabhi

wo chala gaya chor ker hum roe bhi nahi
us ke janey per hum rote the, magar pehle kabhi
-----------------------------------------------

Sher on cse.mtech2

all this sher mentioned below is from cse.mtech2 "spam" thread. a really nice way to spam i guess :-)
---------------------------------------------
usko chaha bhi to izhaar na karna aya
kut gayi umer hamain pyar na karna aya

usne maangi bhi to judai maangi
or hum the ke inqaar na karna aya

- Tushar
--------------------------------------------
mat karo koi wada jise nibhaba na sako,
mat chhaho usse jise pa na sako

pyar kisika kaha pura hota hai
pyar ka pahila akshar hi adhura hota hai....!

--jeetu
----------------------------------------------
Ae dil unki yaad mein rona fizul hai, ansu anmol hai, inko khona fizul hai,
Rote uske liye hain jo tum pe nisar ho, uske liye kya rona jiske ashiq hazaar hon

--jeetu
---------------------------------------------
Humne socha tha ki shayad, hum hi chahte hai tumko, par tumhe chahne wala to kafila nikla,
Dil ne kaha shikayat kar khuda se, paar khuda bhi tera chahne wala nikla.

--tusshar
-----------------------------------------------
Trying to forget someone u love is like trying to remember someone u never
met..

- Tushar
-------------------------------------------------
Samet lo sitaro ko hatho me apne,bahut door tak raat hi raat hogi
Musafir hai hum bhi,musafir hai aap bhi,kahi na kahi phir mulakat hogi
-Tusshar