Shayari

it's shayri time again. obviously, not my creation.
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Hum mud mud ke unhe dekh rahe the aur woh hame...

Hum mud mud ke unhe dekh rahe the aur woh hame...

Kyunki exam me na unhe kucch aa raha tha, na hame ...
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I wish aisi exam har din hoti rahe,
isi bahane kisi ki nigahein hum pe padti rahe
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"Churi chalane ki hum par, zarurat hai unhe kya,
Ek dafa wo nazre milake to dekhe, hum abhi yahin ghayal ho jaenge..."
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Tu dekh ya na dekh, tere dekhne ka gam nahi,
Par teri ye na dekhne ki ada dekhne se kam nahi.
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amein dekhane waalo ki is duniya mein kami nahi,
Par teri nazhro wali baat kisi aur mein nahi !!!
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tufan me kashti ko kinare bhi mil jate hai
jahan me logo ko sahare bhi mil jate hai
duniya me sabse pyari hai zindagi
kuch log zindagi se pyare bhi mil jate hai
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Khidki khuli, Zhulfe nikli,
Khidki khuli, Zhulfe nikli,
Maine soch kismat khuli,
Par afsos, din itwaar tha,
Khuli zhulfo wala Sardar tha
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vaado ko ikraar na samjho,
Khamoshi ko inkaar na samjho,
Nazre milti hai hazaroo se,
Nazro ke milne ko pyar na samjho..

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Koi ankhon se baat kar leta hai,
Koi ankhon mein mulakat kar leta hai,
Bada mushkil hota hai jawab dena,
Jab koi khamosh rehkar sawaal kar leta hai.
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PHIR AAJ WAHI MAIKADE KI YAAD AA RAHI HAI
PHIR AAJ WAHI SHARAB KI KUSHBU AA RAHI HAI
PHIR AAJ WAHI SAQI KI PUKAR AA RAHI HAI
PHIR AAJ WAHI BHEED KI TANHAEE MUJE SATA RAHI HAI......

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Sharab bani to maikhane bane ...
Sharab bani to maikhane bane ...
pyar bana to deewane bane

Kuch to baat hogi aap mein
ki yuhi nahin paagal khane bane.
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Original Joke : The Longest Hour ...

There are times which make us think about how we take things for granted. How we forget about everybody else who may be craving for water and use it carelessly just because we have it in abundance. You must be thinking what is with all this preaching. Ok, let me come straight to the point.

Today began just like any other day. As usual sun rose (for me ) at 10:00. After answering nature's call and brushing my teeth I went back to my routine, that is, to sleep again. If it was not for the pressure, do you think I would be up so early?? I was having a dream about kite flying when my sleep was interrupted by keyur's knock on my door. You all still must be puzzled "what does all this have to do with the longest hour?". Chill out, have patience, I am just coming right there.

I had my lunch and after a couple of hour pressure was building up in my intestine. So I carried the bottle of dettol liquid hand wash to the rest room. So far so good, isn't it? I went in there, finished my business, opened the tap and ooops!!! Just one moment ago I was living my life happily and now I was cadaverous. Seemed like my whole world was on the verge of termination. Was it a sign of a doom's day or was I over-reacting? Yes, you guessed it right. Not even a single droplet of water came out the tap.

They ask you about a zillion different weird situation at SRT ( Situation Reaction Test ) in SSB ( Services selection board ), but this kind of situation never made its way in SRT. May be none of the officers had to encouter such problems or may be because there is no right answer for this. Even if any of them had faced such a situation, who would want it to be shared publicly? Hey, I am writing all this things down here in the public interest.

Someone really said it true that we dont remember GOD unless we are in trouble. If this is not a trouble then what is? I was praying to god earnestly to come to the rescue. Of course, I felt very shameful to remember GOD at such a place and in such a situation. Lekin marta kya na karta!!

As I had nothing else to do there, I started thinking!! My mind experienced an an avlanche of thoughts. Boy I wished I had been in america, at least I could have had some tissues to clean out my a** and I could have come out of the cubicle(!!). I started to realise how it must have felt like being in a gas chamber.
I composed myself and started consoling me. "Hey, someone else might have trapped also". "Sooner or later, somebody would realise that there is no water supply and will inform security to start the water pump". So I decided to be in there until I get help. How was I supposed to know that it would take an hour?? My legs started to go numb. At each passing moment hope of getting any help was fading. That was not the place I wished to die!!.

All of a sudden, a sweet sound filled my ear with a feeling of exuberance. That was the sound of a droplet of water colliding with the bottom of a mug. My heart was filled with ray hope. I was not even half as eager to know my 12th std score as I was to hear the sound of a cascade coming out of the tap. Finally, my patience paid off. Freedom, the most beautiful word in this world.


So guyz, what did we learn from this story?
1) Precaution is better than cure : always check whether enough water is there in the rest room before you order your artillary to attack pakistan.
2) Save water : Because can you imagine what could have happen in its absence?

Original Joke : Gupta v/s Orange

Hi,
It's been quite a while since I was away from blogging. I know, I have missed many interesting incident that I should have written over here. Writing down a couple of incidence of gupta's invincible humour.

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Gupta talked to me one day about a new victim of his humour. He was describing how he stumped a girl from orange who called him regarding advantages of post-paid plans. Here is how it goes....

It was early morning ( Though it was 10'o clock, it must be considered early morning according to gupta's routine ) when gupta's mobile rang.

xyz : Hello sir, sorry to disturb you but I will only take two minutes of your time.
Gupta ( he must have chuckled knowing his prey is coming on its own to be hunted :D ) : Ok go ahead
xyz : Sir, I am nisha, callling from orange. According to our records you are using our prepaid services. I guess you must be using 300 Rs Prepaid coupons to recharge your mobile phone
Gupta : Who said I am using 300 Rs Prepaid coupons to recharge my mobile??
xyz : Oh... then which coupon do you use to recharge?
Gupta : 500 Rs
xyz : Ok sir, if you using 500 Rs coupon then you must be getting talk time around 300 but according to our new scheme....
Gupta ( interrupting the girl ) : Who said that I get talk time of only 300 on 500 rs coupon?
xyz ( quite puzzled by now ) : Ok sir, so under which scheme are you using 500 rs coupon?
Gupta : Sorry young lady, your two minutes are over :D

Things do not finish here. Just after a few days of this incidence achyut came to visit IIT. We all went to anudeep's place by bus. Gupta shared his tale of above mentioned encounter with an orange girl. Just then an idea popped in my mind and I blurted it out. "Gupta, ab ki baar agar vo phone kare to use bol ki, 'why don't we discuss this over a cup of coffee?' ". I just mentioned my thought to him casually, hardly have I known that his mind made a note to implement it as soon as an opportunity arrives.

He did not had to wait too long for the same. The opportunity rang on his mobile ( or knocked his door.. or whtever you call it is ) . I was sitting there in his room checking my mails. He was fast asleep because the sun was not set yet :D. Tring tring... tring tring...( Now, this is not how his mobile rings .. but I do not know how to mimic it in words.. so you have to bear with me ). Gupta woke up with an unpleasant expression, ( He must be thinking in a rage " Kis gustakh ne aisi harkat ki hai?? " ). "Hello Sir, I am nisha speaking from orange, I wanted to let you know about a new postpaid plan which is ... " said a girl with a sweet, calm voice ( without having any clue of what is going to happen the next moment ) was interrupted by gupta. "Why dont we discuss this over a cup of coffee?? ". There you go my friend... I was laughing my a** out uttering in my mind "ye laga chhakka aur gupta phir champion". Obviously the girl was stunned and could not speak anything for at least 7-8 second. She said "Oh! my GOD!!!" after composing herself a bit. She repeated the phrase a couple of more times. "Sir please, pahele plan sun lijiye" she pleaded. "So you dont like coffeee??" said gupta, not in a mood to let go. "Sir , plan sun lijiye na... pleeeaazze", an intense pleading this time. "But I like coffee", gupta remained unaffected. Some more request from the girl and some more teasing from gupta went on for a while. Finally gupta blew her off saying he is not interested in listening to her "plans" if she is not interested in his coffee.

This made it clear to me why gupta is not having any luck with gals :D. I wonder whether there exist a girl who can understand and appreciate gupta's humour. Anyways, no wonder he has to end his day by having a cup of coffee with saket :D.

Good bye my friend...

Good bye my friend...
Originally uploaded by sbjoshi.

well,
it's me again after a long time. A lot of things happened during this time but becuase of my laziness, could not write it down over here. One more friend of mine have headed to abroad for better career... but this time ..that friend was one of my best friend pranay.

Good bye my friend...
Originally uploaded by sbjoshi.

Initially, his plan was to stay at parla but then, luckily, he changed his mind ( needless to say i was the actuator ) to stay at my room. Obviously, he was worried for the life ahead.. after all , saudi arabia is not what people dream for. But I guess he would make much more money over there as compared to what he was making it over here.

He was sad the night before his departure, it was not the worry
about his future, but it was regarding his mom. He was already
feeling nostalgic in just one day. I guess it would be much much hard
for his mom to brook the pain of separation.

Anyways, I could not go to the airport to drop him because his
timings exactly coincided with SecNet dates. So he is not at Saudi and
feeling nostalgic. I dont know how exactly it feels. I have never been
so far from my home... may be I will have to bear the same agony if i
crack a university for PhD.

Good bye my friend... and wish you a very best of luck for your future ahead.
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One nice pic of mine :-)

This photo was taken by hitesh when we were experimenting with the new bought sony cybershot camera. This is one of my nice pics that was taken by keyur's digicam. Here one can easily look at the mess in the background. Yes, that's my room at Hostel 4 New wing.

On my way towards mental peace ...

So as expected, I got a BB in my second stage presentation. The grade did not come as a surprise as I knew I could not have got better grade after such a disaster. Anyways, whatever happened has happened and one can't turn it back.

I thought my guide would have been very angry after the presentation. But when I talked to him the next day, I was relaxed to find out that is not the case. In fact he was searching for me to tell me about a job opportunity in the field of formal verification at atrenta. Though he does not talk informally with his students, he cares a lot about his students.

Anyways, now the presentation is over I am just counting hours for me to reach my home. Home : A place where all worries leave me and I just enjoy like anything. I dont have PC at my home but frankly speaking that's the best part. I can enjoy a real vacation, without connectivity, without PC . I can be myself. No need to involve computer science at home :-)

I am sure my visit to my home, bhavnagar and rajkot will referesh me and I will again have the strength to fight rest of the battle that are to come.

Second stage presentation : A disaster

That's me again after a long break. From last several days my status in yahoo messenger shown "deeply burried into trouble" and one can easily guess what that trouble was.

I did not want to push myself to the limits as I did in my first stage I started working well before the submission date. I started my work in september, although slowly but at a constant pace. After finishing with my subject GRE ( Fortunately, I manage to get 91% in a week's effort) I accelerated my efforts in my project.

Entire circuit manipulation by myself!!! I used STL very extensively and overwhelming use of pointers and indirection. No wonder I spend many hours trying to get rid of the nightmare of any programmer, that is : "Segmentation fault". Also, I discovered another nightmare which many other fellow programmers are fortunate not to see it in their lifetime. That is "****glibc error***:double free or corruption". I really wonder how difficult would it be if someone tries to extend my MTP. Of course, I have put in comments in the program and a lot of guidelines can be found in the CVS logs. But I must admit, in order to complete certain functionality in a hurry, i compromised in terms of design. I could have done better design but I would rather go on with adding other functionalities than rewriting a lot of code.

Anyways, at the end of december I was busy in placements. I had not signed yahoo, MS, qualcomm, morgan stanley, sybase. Google, amazon and trilogy came at the early stage of CSE placement and they all kicked me out after the written test. However, it did not come as a surprise to me as I was damn confident about my skill of writing a C/C++ program on a paper. I knew that as long as companies will ask to write a program on a piece of paper, I am not going to be selected for the interview. Companies came and gone but it did not had any effect on me. I was still working very hard with my second stage implementation.

Then came symantec, the first company for me which did not ask to write a C/C++ program on a piece of paper. Of course, I made my way through all three interviews. But, HR screwed me up. The moment I finished my HR interview I knew that I am gone. Rejection by symantec shook me up. Fortunately I was able to crack Induslogic the next day. This time I had to tell a lot of lie in front of HR, but I knew I had no other choice if I wanted to get selected.


Anyways, the same day I went to meet my supervisor. I asked him which company is better to work with in the area of formal verification. He was supportive. He offered to get me an interview with all those companies. So nice of him!!! But as soon as we switched topic to my MTP, I did not knew that a long TODO list was waiting for me. Last 9 days were remaining and I had to finish the work on the TODO list. From the moment I heard what my supervisor is asking me to do, I knew that implementation is way beyond my capacity. So it was obvious, I could not finished all three things which he asked me to implement in time.

Without worrying much about the implementation I started writing my report. I could not afford to waste much time on implementation anymore. I would have missed my submission deadline if I had continued with my implementation.

And as usual, my guide was too busy to look at my report, which by the way, I handed him over two days prior to submission deadline. I thought the same thing will happen to the slide. Fortunately or unfortunately he had a look at my slide a day ahead of my presentation. Series of suggestion followed and I had to burnt my night again to modify the slides.

As the time of presentation approached my anxiety increased. I had not slept well for two days ( and two nights also ;-) ). Something inside me was telling me that things may go wrong and it did. Examiner started with very simple questions but I got confused, my mind just went blank. I was not understanding what he was asking, what he was saying. And even if I knew the answer I could not present or express it. Fortunately my guide came to the rescue when examiner and chairman started to corner me on the wrong basis.

So all in all, my presentation was a disaster. It's been a relief to me that my guide did not think so. I have not gone to see my grades and I know that AA and AB are out of sight after having such a bad presentation. And I can not blame it all to examiner. I must admit I was not well prepared for the presentation.

Now I have only one chance.. the third stage. I better be prepared for that.

Original Joke : ek penjon le lunga!

well, here i am back after a long time. i was a bit preoccupied ( or at least was pretending to be occupied ;-) ) in my report submission work. Anyways, here it goes


Scenario : A typical IIT night. At H2 canteen at around 12:30 in the night. Me, gupta, saket and sushil were chatting. Gupta was in his usual mood of "hypothetical situation".

Gupta : To Mr Saurabh Joshi, Aap ko IIT main kaun si ladki pasand hai?
Gupta : A ) Girl1 B) Girl2 C) Girl3 D) Girl4.

( I would prefer not to put the original options .. coz gupta was at his height of imagination while providing options )

Gupta : To bataiye... kis ke sath jana chahenge aap. A, B, C ya D?

( I knew I had to choose one of the options.. not choosing an option would have given them more excuse to tease me ;-) :D. So I was puzzled by this question and was wondering what to say! )

Gupta : Bahut confused dikh rahe hai? Life line use karna chahenge?

( I still did not answer .. to save myself from being teased anymore I knew I had to give answer very very cautiously )

Gupta : Audience poll lena chahenge aap? Oh... Aur results hai? A) 25% B) 25% C) 25% D) 25%
Badi hi kathin samasya me fans gaye hai aap. Audience poll aap ki kuchh khas madad nahi kar sakta. Aisi situation me aap kya karenge?

Sushil (out of the blue) : Aasan hai, ek penjon le lunga ( !!!! :-O :D :-)) )
(This was a punch line of an ad of a painkiller 'penjon')

original joke : woh moti ladki!!

it's me again. this incident actually happen before the one that i described in my last post.
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Me, saket and gupta sitting in kaksha lab working on our MTech projects. Me and saket got kind of tired of coding so we started chatting a bit.. while gupta is still burried deep into coding.

Saket : kya re, kitni ladkiyan teri frenz thi college me?
Me : thi.. thodi bahut
Saket : jaise ke?
Me : meri singing partner thi ek ..
Saket : sahi hai...( with giving me a meaningful look ) .. fir age kuchh hua ke nahi?
Me : !! age kya hona tha.. bas.. achchhi friend thi .. aur kya?
Saket : aise hi pyar ho jata hai... vo pandit ( one guy from ee dept ) pata hai na aaj kal ek ladki ke saath ghumta hai?
Me : achchha .. kaun woh moti ladki?
Saket : ha.. vohi.. shadi karne vale hai dono
Me : kya baat hai?
Saket : ha... bas aise hi ... pandit achchha gata hai.. to iit ke musical programs me, practice me hi unki mulakat hui .. aur fir dosti pyar me badal gai
Me : sahi hai.
Saket : aur sale soch. tune kya kiya... ek bechari ladki ne samne se tere ko propose kiya.. aur tune use thukra diya.. ( refering to the loveletter that i got in my BE second year )
Me : abe kya re... vo umar me pyar-vyar kuchh nahi hota.. sirf attraction hota hai
Saket : abhi kuchh bhi mat bol ha... tab use thukra diya.. aur aaj mara mara ghum raha hai.. soch zara soch.. agar tune vo ladki ko ha bola hota.. to aaj tu aish kar raha hota .. uske sath tu ghumta.. romatic bate karta.. tuje pata hai tune ek galati karke kya khoya hai?
Gupta ( speaking out of the blue ) : woh moti ladki !!!!

original jokes : But mom... she is hot!

well,
here i am back again after a long time. i just wanted to write down the original jokes that i encountered in my conversation with my friends. i must say that i will miss my life at IIT .. i mean.. where i am going to find such a humour ? anyways.. here goes the real incident
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Me, saket, keyur and vaibhav gupta were out for a dinner at swarna restaurant. Just discussing about lifes and all. A topic came out whether i will be doing a love marriage or an arranged marriage.
Saket : ha, sidha ja ke bolega..ma ye tumhari bahu hai
Me : are nahi yaar, direct aisa nahi... agar muje pasand aayi koi ladki to main bolunga ki mom muje ye ladki pasand hai.. aap ki kya rai hai?
Gupta : aur agar mom ko pasand nahi aayi to?
Me : to fir shadi nahi karne ka.. simple
Gupta : sale, tu khudgarz insaan hai.. zara soch us ladki pe kya bitegi.
Me : tu muje ye bata ki tu meri jagah hota to tu kya karta
Gupta : matlab?
Me : suppose tuje koi ladki pasand aa gayi
Gupta : is she hot? ( the same way joey does in friends )
Me in my mind : #$%&@
Me : ye hamesha galat detail me jata hai
Me : achha to bata ki tuje koi pasand aa gayi
Gupta : but is she hot???
Me : ya ( sigh )
Gupta : ha.. ab bata
Me : to tuje koi ladki pasand aa gayi aur teri mom ne mana kar diya to kya bolega
Saket : But mom.. she is hot!!!
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We were having ice cream at "naturals". I asked everybody...
Me : kisi ko aur koi ice cream chahiye kya?
Gupta : main chickoo ice cream lunga
Saket : main mango
Me : (offering my hand for handshake to him ) main saurabh (!!!)
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Discussing about why IISc is a better place than IIT.
Gupta : IISc me achchhi research hoti hai kyu ki vaha pe jungle hai (!! :-O )
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I am really gonna miss the original humours like this.. there are many many more.. which we have enjoyed and forgotten but almost each such joke/comment/PJ is a marvelous piece in itself.